Rap about mystery, God, "truth", and struggle.

Production by Audio Therapy Productions
(Call 540 476-0996)

Images by Shane Grammer (blog.shanegrammer.com)

Instrumental by Are-tis-tik and Vizzini

1ST VERSE:
Though you make frivolous bets with Satan on my life, I still promise to make you proud and prove you right. Even though I’m offended cause you have the knowledge of my suffering and the power to end it and yet don't even let me touch you I promise to always AND never trust you. Even though you created the tree, you CREATED the tree and placed it IN FRONT of me, then commanded that I not eat it's fruit I still won't hold-STILL won’t hold it against you. You placed me on this treadmill that life's affairs are done on. And though I can’t get off or change the speed I’ll still run on. When I GIVE you my best and you allow it to break me and make me capable of less I'll still fully invest because your ‘otherness’ will never break what's in my chest. I said break-break what’s in my chest. Even though you COULD be fooling us this whole time and making us THINK heaven exists and that you're forgiving and kind, and this is all a grand experiment conjured in your mind I've got no way to PROVE this that I can find. So I’ll believe a few of these ideas of you that I've held to: the peculiar person I've known since the day I first felt you. My God, the things that happened since the day I first felt you.

CHORUS:
Sometimes I want you like the sun,
but I can’t get too close like the sun.
I wonder how much like us you really are.
Sometimes I swear you go too far.
Still, I’ll go with you.
What else can I do?
What else can I do?
What else can I do but go with you?

2nd VERSE:
When you don't let me hear you or even feel you I’ll continue to have you hear ME and feel me too. And when you HIDE yourself from me I promise to confirm you. And when you SHOW yourself to me I promise to unlearn you. Even though you like to often break my whole worldview I still promise to hold beliefs that are strong; knowing the whole time that I could be wrong. Even though you LEAD me to the dark night of the soul and though I've been warned of this place and your elusive goal I promise to allow it to hurt like you want it to, and know the footprints in the sand are me carrying you. Yeah, me carrying you. You leave me searching. I try so hard to know and understand you. Not trying to be certain. It’s not like I wanna put you in a box or try to brand you. Just show me the man behind the curtain. Satan SAW you simply as YOU before he was bared. Makes me wonder what he’d tell me if I asked him what your faults are. Some say you can be KNOWN but not understood. But to me that idea’s no good. I don’t feel that someone knows me unless I feel they’re understanding me. Don’t you feel the same way? What’s wrong with you? Answer me. Is it when I’m finally through, I’m throwing my hands up too, and saying “God, I just don’t understand you.” That you say exhaustedly, “Finally he understands me.”?

CHORUS:
Sometimes I want you like the sun,
But I can’t get too close like the sun
I wonder how much like us you really are
Sometimes I swear you go too far
Still I’ll go with you
What else can I do?
What else can I do?
What else can I do but go with you?

3rd VERSE:
Though you tore down the barriers I built AGAINST love and faith, it still doesn’t mean you showed me that they both were safe. And though even with YOU it’s true that real love hurts I promise to stay weak and vulnerable in your arms first. I think to stay in this relationship you're asking a lot of me: things you don't even return in reciprocity. Cause I don't make YOU confused and filled with uncertainty, so your side of the relationship seams easier to me. Well, I promise to love YOU unconditionally. Sometimes I feel like I’ve forgotten who you are and you’re trying to help me remember that far. Sometimes it feels I need to FORGET what I know of you. The things you’ve made me go through leave me with no clue what to go do. You ask me to love you the way I used to – used to. And God, how I want to, but I’d have to start our relationship over and undue my history with you – with you. Man, somebody pass me a tissue – tissue. God, I’ve got so many issues. Even though I’m hurt and angry with you – with you. I'm saying that I miss you - SAYING that I miss you.

CHORUS:

OUTRO:
See even a wise man jumps in misery somewhere down the line, but only a fool would jump a second time.

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