Normally I send the Knave to this place but I thought since it was a bright day and the Queen was commanding the staff to turn the castle upside down in a cloud of filth in her annual Cleaning of the Springs, it would be pleasant for my sanity to escape for an afternoon.
Although having no kinship with the locks, the bijou cottage tearooms were most acceptable in service and ambience.
Fearing a long uncomfortable pregnant pause due to my finery, stature and bearing, I brought along my gramophone and a careful selection of records. Without prompting, I set the new needle in the racing groove and with a pop, crackle, and hiss we were all regaled with the 'Teddy Bear's Picnic'. This broke the ice immediately and I continued with the old laugh-along classic 'The Laughing Policeman'. Wiping the tears from our eyes, the recently arrived Dan Gereaux, whipped out his 'instrument' and gave it a frightful plucking which was edifying to say the least! Thankfully the tearooms were able to stem this outpouring with one of their exemplary sausage baguettes. And it is this performance is what you see. My apologies.
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