Seriously, I was intrigued from the very beginning but really "impressed" by the end haha

what I think*, sorry

I don't think he meant we should be emotionally recluse. What he criticized was the exacerbated egocentrism anyone can observe in real life. We all have met this person who is perennially making plans and discoursing about his or her woes and rarely asks how the people around him are, who rarely sets out to kill a nag by doing something about it, who has little or no sensibility about other human beings.

Soldiering on in spite of pain or discomfort and talking about something when it HURTS, when it is meaningful, not out of habit, is what he seems to advocate.

Yea I'm sure that's what he meant for that, in fact that's almost an exact quote from Dale Carniege's book "How to win friends and influence people" written I think around 70+ years ago. Theirs almost a hubris nature about stephen in the way he's trying to explain his thinking, which if you're interpreting it like you said really isn't his thinking. But he sure does try to make it his.

Well when I was 18 years old I dropped out of college and quit my job at a bank to live with my girlfriend in NYC. It was a shock to everyone in my small family and community, and it was the best decision of my life.

However, I made the mistake of following goals that I set for myself. My goal was to live happily with her in NYC and go to school and get a job and start my own business. Everything was great for awhile, but then my feelings became exactly as Stephen described it. "Ok, I'm here. Now what?"

We broke up 9 months later, and I felt like my world was caving in on me. I decided to stick it out and move out on my own and continue working. I met my goal and did that for 3 months, still the same feeling.

Finally I lost my job and was forced to move back home. I felt like a complete failure having to leave NYC, and everything Stephen has said in the first 3 minutes has instantly resonated with that feeling.

That was last week, and I'm personally disgusted that you're bashing what Stephen is saying. A goal-free life doesn't mean that your life can't have any direction... Since I don't know you Jake, I can only be 99% sure that you did not experience this when you were 18 years old, and shouldn't be so quick to judge. The only thing that made it all worth while was the journey and time I had learning and living.

You realize the satire in your entire post? I've gone through my ups and downs. I've set my goals and failed some along the way but as I am a positive person I didn't sit in self pity and think of myself as a failure; which is my contention with his whole reasoning .

Not setting goals because of the fear of being a failure ultimately comes down to YOU. Either overcome the possibility of failure and see it as a learning experience which you stated at the end

"The only thing that made it all worth while was the journey and time I had learning and living."

or wallow in self pity and never try to make something of yourself. You can certainly have direction without setting goals; albeit a nebulous and spontaneous one.

I'd look back at all the positives and obstacles you overcame, the life experience you wouldn't have had without setting those goals mind you.

Also if I may add one of your goals was based entirely off of not your digression but anothers, and if i was sensing the overwhelming amount of pessimism in your post after the break up I'd say that making a goal that is in no way under your decree isn't morally reprehensible.

and no you're correct I didn't experience that, everyones journey in life is an amazingly different story. You make of it what you want, a great quot I like to remind myself of when I'm feeling down

“You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught and accept as true.”


Cheers to the journey Cody.

Comments like this are great, but I think Fry is targeting the "trolls." I don't think he is completely neglecting the existence of thought-provoking comments, or discussion-cultivating quips, but often they get lost in waves of uninformed rants (go to any politically-relevant video on YouTube, and you'll see anti-any party comments). Of course, great comments exist, but I think Fry is saying that they are "dwarfed" by the not-so-great self-absorbed comments.

Perhaps you might consider using the word "I" less.

That's my next goal!