Chris and Claire (@jchris and @claire_mccabe) rap about their favorite topic, databases!

yo, Chris
whatup, Claire?

I got a database problem that I gots to share
I hate MySQL it's giving me tears
This ALTER-TABLE statement is gonna take years

Not need to trip on a funky query
Use Map Reduce and JavaScript with CouchDB
It's schemaless and replicates using JSON
Non-relational databases turn me on!

From now on I'll use CouchDB
Updates
All my sisters use CouchDB
Creates
In the morning I use CouchDB
Replicates
After dinner I use CouchDB
Devastates

My boss keeps shooting down my brilliant plans
He thinks Oracle is still in demand
I wanna show him something to change his mind
only thing that fucker cares about is saving time

Just log into the the Terminal
Get your Couch running
Open up Futon
Your CouchApps will be stunning
It Worked!

All my Twitters stored in CouchDB
Updates
All my Facebooks stored in CouchDB
Creates
DNA stored in CouchDB
Replicates
After dinner I use CouchDB
Devastates