Loren loves to cook. Every time I mention anything about being hungry, he's all, "Ryan! Let me cook you a meal! It'll be delicious!" Which is cool when I've got, like, four hours to spare, but not so cool when I'm actually hungry and want to eat right away.

Back in 2005, a bunch of us were sitting around watching Battlestar Galactica and we decided we were hungry. Loren flipped out and was all, "Hey guys! Let me cook you a meal! It'll be delicious!" and for some reason we bought it. Of course, I had no food in my apartment, so we had to go to the grocery store. Then Loren had to figure out how to cook a stir-fry, which he had apparently never done before. It ended up taking four or five hours.