Spiders toil ridiculously hard to catch one little bug. They never quit working, they never complain, they never use company resources, they never want a pay raise. Rep. John Boehner and the Republican Party, recognizing this industriousness and how it could lead to cheaper labor, have introduced legislation in Congress to subsidize research into teaching spiders how to type and make lattes. Once they can be contained in a cubicle or behind the counter of a Starbucks, look out. Your job is gone, outsourced to an insect.