At the start of this he tries to crank me over but, though every part of my body wanted to go over, my mind didn't think it was such a good idea. Given it screwed up my neck for weeks and really hindered my next fights, perhaps I should have done.

When I watch this, I see a non-stop barrage of attacks from side-control. Everywhere he moves I go for a submission - but he was just too damn strong for my feeble arms to get much past the entry.

The ref apparently doesn't see my efforts and so stands us up and tells me to "work". I said "I'm working as hard as I can" and the other guy said, "yeah, he really is" - which I thought was really lovely. No wonder he had a hot girlfriend.

He came to me sometime afterwards and told me it was the best fight he'd ever had and he really loved the relentlessness of my attacks. What a nice man. He's an mma fighter who normally weighs 94kilos apparently. A bit bigger than my 81, then...

You'll see me making a tit of myself with my pathetic efforts to get to mount. Clearly I don't do that very often. I only did it because I didn't want to get done for stalling again - partially because was really not happy about the idea of doing takedowns again. And also because Seb and Hoss were shouting at me to collect some points.

Lesson learned: hips are better for submissions than feeble arms.

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