2011-05-28 1st Journal, Mayan day 3 Deer or Hand

♥ Read along with the transcript, here - scribd.com/doc/57091761

Intro:
Being without a voice, just now, this journal must be written. It has been a number of days with no journaling at all, and that is unusual. Still, with the body feeling so rotten, it was best to just nurture it. Also, it’s amazing how, when the body is out of sorts in some way, the spiritual focus is narrowed. Interesting.

The body still feels fairly rotten, but the spirit has been moving along, and I want to touch bases with that - to “Find out where I am,” so to speak. It amazes me, how much we can lose touch with Inner Self if we don’t journal, or have some meditative practice to keep that link and flow going strong - to bring conscious awareness along to ‘Keep up’ with spirit. I guess maybe we’re all a bit bipolar, this way. ;)

While I don’t want to get too off into physical things, I will mention that the old cancer became a concern during this time. It was lymphoma, and throat lymph nodes have been quite swollen for some time. They got worse, and really uncomfortable, so I wondered. In working with Ken,* he says the body is still eliminating elements of the cancer, especially from that area. So, so far, so good. It’s going out, not returning. I’m for that :))

The other thing that arose is determination to live - to stay in form. Did I have it? Once upon a time, and for most of this life, the answer was no. I wasn’t interested in leaving, either. I had no overt desire for that. Rather, I simply didn’t care. I am so aware of how death is an illusion - you cannot die. Well, combined with the intense Joy and Beauty of the other side, there is nothing to fear in death...

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