I attended an inauguration celebration today at the Oracle Arena in Oakland, California. As I walked around in a sea of Obama merchandise from buttons to earrings to foam fingers and t-shirts, I wondered if the impulse to purchase Obama merchandise may single-handedly restore consumer confidence to our dilapidated and downtrodden American economy. Don't think it's possible? Check out this woman hawking t-shirts.

...and according to her, the t-shirt you buy at today's inauguration will triple in value by tomorrow. So not only will these t-shirts restore consumer confidence, perhaps they're also a new investment option for our retirement plans!