"I have a fat girl heart and I just want to eat myself to death. So what?"

That's the official statement. That's everything Ian Anderson wants to say about the above performance of "Brooklyn" that he did for us a while back with his recently-disassembled Guidance Counselor. In the spirit of transparency, Anderson doesn't want us to add any other written details. Just the stuff about the fat girl heart.

But I couldn't do that. It's too vague without context. It steps towards the pejorative and away from an irreverent, literary self-loathe. And for some reason it makes me think about eating glitter when I watch the video. Not pleasant.

Putting my overactive imagination aside, the reality of the situation is this: Guidance Counselor is no more. They played their last show at PDX Pop Now! 2011, and this episode of Feels Like Home represents a creative space that our glitter-covered friend is moving decidedly away from, and quickly.

It's unclear as to what exactly Anderson is distancing himself from, and I wouldn't want to take guesses.

Though, it is clear as to what Anderson's moving towards: the momentum's behind a solo project called Feelings, which he's taking South to the Bay Area. (Feelings played our Quarterly music showcase at Holocene a few months back, and it was great-- synth-driven but not too bubble-gummy, dark, immediate, hypnotic, and other nice things.)

Regardless of where Anderson stands between his various projects, the more I watch Guidance Counselor's "Brooklyn," the more I see it mirroring a decadent and morally-conflicted pop culture. From the lyrics to the sarcastic imagery of the shoot, we see glamorous youth-- youth in fetishized decay, youth metaphorically eating themselves to death-- and it seems to speak more for society than any individual involved in making the music.

[This release premiered at the 29th Annual Reel Music Festival on Tuesday, October 11, 2011 as part of "That Was Then, This Is Now: Portland Music Videos," curated by Alicia J. Rose.]

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