Once, in a place far off from wherever you may be, a bakerwoman - aged twenty-three years, four months, ten days, nine hours, and twenty-nine minutes stood before her counter making the greatest comestibles in the entire world. Her cakes, pies, and pastries melted in the mouths of those who were lucky enough to taste those delectable treats. Anyone close enough to catch whiff of the baker woman’s sweets wanted to have their cake and eat it too; consequently stirring immeasurable disputes down to the last crumb.

Deep within the earth nearby, lived an entire kingdom of faerie folk. The king of the faeries lived perhaps, the most perfectly satisfied life until he heard of the baker woman. In effort to try one of her treats he called forth the finest of his faerie elite.

Day after day, undercover faeries watched the baker woman unaware that not only was she a master baker, but she was the cleverest of women; and it was the first that got her into trouble, but it was the second that got her out of it.

Ten days, seven hours, 47 minutes and 6 seconds later, the baker woman departed to deliver her most ambitious cake to date. Not forgetting to remind her daft babysitter she had posted the emergency numbers on the refrigerator, the bakerwoman departs to bake a cake for the royal wedding. Fifteen seconds later, the faerie elite swiftly dispersed from hiding to commence the finale of their scheme for cake’s sake.

Now all the faeries needed was a slice of patience for it would be three hours, 14 minutes and 57 seconds until the baker woman would cycle past their kingdom.

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