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18. Video Blogging Week 2009 - 040709
8 months ago
Participating in Video Blogging Week 2009. I decided to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while...my dad. You know talking things out really does help you reflect better. So thanks for listening and letting me share :)
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i have not had a relationship with my father for the past 6 or 7 years now. i have good reason for it though. he stole my identity and put me in severe debt while i was a child. so i started out my adult life in debt and that turned out to be a huge negative impact on my life in various ways. and i dont believe that he properly regrets it or comprehends how wrong and disgusting it is.. to do something like that to your own child. it destroyed any relationship we had or could have.
so i understand the difficulty in having a living parent that is not in your life. and its truly a sad thing for me to have to deal with.
i also have a 5 year old daughter and though we didnt plan on her, she is everything to me. i absolutely love having a little girl. i dont know why necessarily i prefer a daughter. i could go into the pyschological reasons but whatever.
anyway... it didn't sound like your father did anything to you directly to destroy your relationship. if that is accurate, then i strongly suggest that you take a first step in getting to know the man who is your daddy. while you still can. i know that it is common for kids to have problems with parents after a divorce. but i know in my heart... having a daughter and wanting everything good for her, always.... that even if my marriage stopped working, my love for my daughter would never fade.
sorry to preach or babble on...
cheers!
@sull
Mom: Say "Mom"
Me: Mom!
Mom: Say "Dad"
Me: Yuck!
Just that little training session reflected the timeline (so far) of my relationship with my dad. He's my dad, but can't say I always feel his support for what I do. Which is good in some sense, because it's made me go out and do things my dad wouldn't do, or things he would react to with overkill if I told him beforehand. Now I do something, and tell him after the fact and it seems to have a better response.
Just sucks because I feel like I have to try way too hard to bond with him. The paragraph above I typed felt "strategic" in a sense. To me, one shouldn't need social engineering in a father/son relationship.
@ross I've heard your story from a few people. Yeah it's hard but I will say that if you can make a difference now and yeah it may take some work on your behalf, do it. That way however it turns out you can fell confident that you did all you could. I know that I can't really say that I have
And it breaks my heart that he had to go to Vietnam and that... he's not who he used to be because of it :(
I hope you two work things out in the future *hug*