A wondrous revelation for all relationships (not just with out kids) from How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, one of my favorite books on parenting (but so helpful for all of my interactions): instead of barking orders when we feel we aren't being heard after asking several times ("do this, NOW"), we have an option to NOTICE what is happening ("hey, I'm noticing that you haven't yet done that") and empower the other person to choose to deliver what needs to happen. This is HELPING my household.
This is super useful - not just for kids but for all of us. The noticing and listening changes the flavor of every interaction, the inquiry rather than the "order" is extremely uplifting and helps us all to make more choices and feel more free, even as we are doing what needs to be done.