whoever you are, wherever you are.. i'm starting to think we're a lot alike. human beings spinning on blackness. all wanting to be seen, touched, heard. paid attention to.
in the last year or xx i've screamed at my creator. screamed at clouds in the sky. for some explanation. mercy maybe. for peace of mind to rain like manna somehow.
summers ago, i met somebody. and on the days we were together, time would glide.
by the time i realized i was in love, it was malignant. it was hopeless. there was no negotiating with the feeling. no choice. it was my first love, it changed my life. back then, my mind would wander to the women i had been with, the ones i cared for and thought i was in love with.
the dance went on, i kept the rhythm.. i struggled to master myself and my emotions. i wasn't always successful. i wrote to keep myself busy and sane. i wanted to create worlds that were rosier than mine. i tried to channel overwhelming emotions. i'm surprised at how far all of it has taken me.
i don't have any secrets i need kept anymore. there's probably some small shit but you know what i mean. i was never alone, as much as i felt like it.. as much as i still do sometimes. i never was. i don't think i ever could be. thanks. to my first love. i'll remember who i was when i met you. i'll remember who you were and how we've both changed and stayed the same.
i don't know what happens now, and that's alrite.
SY summer of 12
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