Hi, Wow. Ok, sweet. I made this for the Self Portrait Weekend Project. Look, it's me! Yeah, him! I mean, Yeah, me! Hopefully you are savoring the unique mix of self-doubt and dry humour which so elegantly blends within ''l'eau de Linton''.

We were also meant to do something we hadn't done before, or something. Well,

● This is the first time I've used the hard cut to black that I like so much from other people's work.

● This is the first time I've used more of the stuff I did *between takes* than what I was actually meant to be shooting.

● This is the first time I have no idea whether I like it or hate it, whether its good-ok or bad-iateyourchildren.

● This is the first time I used cheesy piano riffs to trick you into thinking you're watching something ''deep'' and ''important''. Did you fall for it? Ok maybe it really is deep and important, I honestly have no idea.

● This is the first time I've cared whether other people think it's any good or not.

● Banana-Touché!™. This is the first time I've ever written the words ''Banana-Touché!™''

● This is the first time I've ever ended a description with ''Bye!''.

Bye!

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