Writing about stuff is usually effortless but now I’m having a hard time. I can’t explain my feelings, partly because I’m very aware of how much I don’t actually care (about this balloon, about anything, etc) but …. I don’t know, I can’t stop thinking about it, so the whole thing must mean something.
I feel like so many things I say and think are unimportant and irrelevant…… like probably most of them. What am I trying to say?? Uhhhhhhhhh well.. hm. I start a lot of sentences - the ones I think are ‘important’ - with “I always think about___” They probably blend in with the other stuff that I say, so maybe it goes unnoticed. I just want to emphasize that if I say that I always think about something, then I really do think about it a lot ~ for some reason that I do not know and I think it has to mean that it is somehow very important, which is probably why I just keep thinking about it. I don’t even try to figure out WHY it’s important because that almost doesn’t even matter somehow. Which I know makes no sense.
But… okay.. this balloon. Woah, hm alright. I think I just decided that I don’t want to share my thoughts about the balloon because now they seem really personal .. like a private thing. A secret. I guess no one is going to really know how I feel right now or ever.
Going back through my photobooth pictures there are so many that have the string from this balloon inconspicuously hanging around. The string is white so I didn’t really notice before. It feels like a ghost or a demon or an angel. That’s all I can say I guess
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