(The song is "Christmas Sucks" by Porn Orchard with their fucking brilliant impersonations of Tom Waits and Peter Murphy.)

People ask me why I wear a black Santa hat that says BAH HUMBUG. If you lived in the holly jolly wonderland where I do, you'd be a bit burned out too. It doesn't help that I have to pass Giftmas decorations when I'm on a Halloween supply run, and I can still pick up discount snowmen come Valentines Day. And Christmas in July. Really, America? Fucking really?

That said, I'm perfectly content to have myself a merry little Giftmas for about 10 days starting on the 20th or so. I love all the lights and the trees, but when you're still eating off snowman plates and it's August, it's time to reconsider the boundaries of the winter holidays.

p.s I won't complain about you wishing me Merry Christmas instead of a Joyful Yule if you don't forget that this whole "reason for the season" thing is THE WINTER SOLSTICE and that Christianity stole the celebration from the pagans in an attempt to convert them and Christians didn't even celebrate Christmas until the 1400s or so. The early settlers didn't even celebrate Christmas because they knew its true origins and considered it a pagan holiday. This is why I celebrate Giftmas. Lose the Christ, keep the presents, the time spent with loved ones, and that warm fuzzy feeling. And the great excuse to bake a shittonne of cookies and get smashed.

p.p.s Have a great winter holiday thing. :)

Loading more stuff…

Hmm…it looks like things are taking a while to load. Try again?

Loading videos…