The Yellow Ribbon
4 months ago
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16. The Yellow Ribbon
4 months ago
Imagery of the 'Deer Park' bypass on the western edge of Melbourne.
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Warm regards,
Ash Perry
I really like the composition and the rhythm of the piece as it stands. I doubt that just cutting the music would be an improvement... it creates a definite mood, and different music (or no music) would also created different emotional textures.
It's your choice as filmmaker to decide whether that mood is the one you WANT to provoke from an audience, though.
For me as someone very distant from the specific structure of this bypass, it does leave me wanting something more defined or specific, though what I take away from watching in this form is a sort of indictment of human encroachment on the natural world and the nature of suburban sprawl. But I could well be overreading.
Your reading is accurate; particularly, your observations on length and '... establishing more context.'
This film, and my other 'vimeo vignette's,' are intended to be reconfigured, and placed within a longer film for a postgraduate research outcome that I'm working towards completing.
Again, many thanks for taking the time to critique my work, it is very much appreciated!
Warm regards,
Ash Perry