Having OCD is a real pain in the head (of all places). I like to keep everything organized, but can never feel neat enough. I could work so hard at mastering something, yet I can never be good enough. My social environment is comfortable until I crave being the center of attention. The past has never been my friend. Lately, my own past mistakes have been haunting me like a stalker with a knife, like the hooded figure with the mirror head in Maya Deren’s Meshes of the Afternoon (1943). Henceforth, I want to make a trance film that represents my ongoing nightmares. I want to make environments change from the setting of one event to another, like a musical stage changing into a large classroom in a high school. I mention the trance film by Maya Deren because the work has the kind of frightening feeling I want to portray in my project. I also admire her displaying of motifs, or the repetitive images that are juxtaposed with totally different subsequent images.

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