"B*tch, go back to China ..." on Vimeo

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71. What am I doing in Germany?

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70. Before the storm

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69. Oh no!

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68. A New York Wedding

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67. 10SQ / Ricky Van Veen / Weddings

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66. Ping Pong

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65. Lunch

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64. Ben's birthday party in Larchmont

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63. Another reason why I might have gone OOC

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62. 1987 Porsche 944 for Sale

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61. Flying to Fort Wayne

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60. Hey from Fort Wayne

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59. "B*tch, go back to China ..."

by Zach Klein

4 years ago

58. SkinnyCorp slings mud at NYC!

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57. Jake, how do you feel about sports bars?

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56. It had to be done.

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55. Subway Gymnasts

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54. Phonecall between brothers

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53. How to make a smoothie

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52. McSorley's Bathroom

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51. Ricky during dishes

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50. Clip by mistake

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49. Kunal's Frisbee School

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48. Chest Hair

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47. OK, I like some bugs.

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46. Huge Waterfall

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Jake and Ricky performed in The Other Talent Show last night at Mo Pitkins. Jake showcased his talent other than programming: freestyle rapping. To demonstrate, Ricky blindfolded Jake, picked someone randomly from the audience, whispered to Jake one thing about the person, and then Jake unleashed his 'lyrical murder'. He 'killed' three people, and this clip shows one of those 'miracle massacres'.

Note: She isn't Chinese, or even Asian.

Jake's Transcript:

Bitch, go back to China!
Was that clear or do you need a reminder?
Ching ching ting tang ping pang pong
I'm so solly we don't get along
Your grandfather work on railroad track;
that job is gone, now go back
to your Asian, Chinese mommie
your whole family is a commie...

Credits

81 Likes

Dalton
3 months ago
Simone Morgan
7 months ago
Jesse
1 year ago
Andrew Murray
1 year ago
Ray Martinez
2 years ago
Filip Adam Pawlak
2 years ago
Jackie Birov
2 years ago
Ben Koch
2 years ago
Eric Lodwick
2 years ago
josephsmtih
2 years ago
See all 81 likes

Tags

Andrea Allen 4 years ago

Her face is great. "WHAAAAAA?"
Janie 4 years ago

You left it hanging in suspense! Now I wanna know how she battled back; I bet she can spit fire.
quizzical44 4 years ago

"I spit hot fire" - Dave Chappelle.
Sean Nelson 2 years ago

I think that was Dylon. Dylon, Dylon, Dylon. BDlap!
Zach Klein 4 years ago

Jake, can you post a transcript?
charliesteadman 4 years ago

Zach, you write well. You should write a book. :)
Tina Mosh 4 years ago

I've told him that about 3 times
Jake Lodwick 4 years ago

Bitch, go back to China!
Was that clear or do you need a reminder?
Ching ching ting tang ping pang pong
I'm so solly we don't get along
Your grandfather work on railroad track;
that job finished, now go back
to your Asian, Chinese mommie
your whole family is a commie...

something like that.
Zach Klein 4 years ago

This makes the clip even funnier.
Joel Curran 4 years ago

Is that line a homage to Donnie Darko?

By the way - that was hilarious!
Jake Lodwick 4 years ago

It was an homage.
Paul McClintock 4 years ago

Yeh, I thought so.

CHUT UP!
trp0 4 years ago

Hysterical! MC PHP throwin' down.
charliesteadman 4 years ago

BWAHHH HAAAAA!!! I'm glad you channeled your rage through rap and focused it on someone who doesn't work at CV. I'm picking myself off the floor now. So funny.
Trawin 4 years ago

HAHAH. Wow - that was great
David Cho 4 years ago

Ching chang ping pang ting tang chong!
jacob 4 years ago

that was the third most amazing freestyle rap i've ever seen performed by a white guy blindfolded
justin 4 years ago

That freestyle rap-battle footage from San Diego should still go up!
Si 4 years ago

Hahaha, I wish I could hear all the words!
joanna e 4 years ago

Is that me laughing so loud? I don't want to insult it in case it's not...but jesus, sorry. funny!
Zach Klein 4 years ago

Yeah, that is definitely you.
joanna e 4 years ago

Reason #83 why i think vimeo is creepy: totally busted me laughing obnoxiously loud.
Paul McClintock 4 years ago

Too funny. We really need a transcript.
aaannnaaa 4 years ago

hilarious!
dalas verdugo 4 years ago

shit, i can't hear most of what he's saying. the Rochester freestyles Jake refers to in the video were usually pretty hilarious, although i think maybe the other cipherers weren't too happy to have a "funny guy" in their midst, although Jake was usually oblivious to their disdain. most of the rappers would just spout the same old cliche shit.
Jake Lodwick 4 years ago

Are you serious? I thought everyone there loved me!
dalas verdugo 4 years ago

with all their hearts!
Amanda 4 years ago

Thats amazing! her reaction screams "wtf?" more than a 13 year old on AIM.
Will H 4 years ago

it's all about the body language ... sick.

finger point?

never optional, always required.
Marisa Gesualdi 4 years ago

Holy crap! I was not expecting that. That's hilarious!
pflynn02 4 years ago

i never knew the mad skillz Jakob has, that was great!
Mary 4 years ago

That was beautiful! I enjoyed Ricky's subtle dancing in the corner.
streeter seidell 4 years ago

I would like to see the next battle where you confess that you'd like to make love to a woman "under the glass ceiling."
Ry4n Boshay 4 years ago

roffle
Tina Mosh 4 years ago

That was kind of terrifying!
Nick Gray 4 years ago

Watching this clip was great, thanks for sharing it Zach. I think Jakob's raps are A great.
Courtney Johnston 4 years ago

I think I just fell in love!
meg 4 years ago

I can't think of anything I'd be worse at than freestyle rapping. Seriously. I'm in awe.
Jannabelle 4 years ago

Incredible.
rockslayer 4 years ago

I lawk it very mauch.
Valeria 4 years ago

ahahah she was just too surprised to say anything..did she properly reply to you? :D
staceyv 4 years ago

I want to know what Ricky told him about that woman.
Ricky Van Veen 4 years ago

I said "Chinatown." The joke was that I was terrible at giving him his "hints."
taimaishu 4 years ago

Why 'chinatown'? From here she looks almost asian!
i say 4 years ago

That was hilarious.
overunder 4 years ago

I really should be offended, but fuck it! You one funny white boy! Hahaha :)
surrender2lola 4 years ago

I didn't think it was funny.
dalas verdugo 4 years ago

RAP POWER!

blumpy.org/music/goose%20chokers/goose%20chokers%20-%20neighborhood%20watch.mp3
Ian Lucero 3 years ago

holy shit!
FitoCalles 3 years ago

this is one of the many reasons why Vimeo is 10 million times better then YouTube
♥ La La Lani ♥ 2 years ago

As someone who actually lives with a "real" rapper, this was actually Pretty Good!! I have a whole new respect for Jakobs many talents, hahaha.
Jackie Birov 2 years ago

such exuberance!