More
See all Show me
Jake and Ricky performed in The Other Talent Show last night at Mo Pitkins. Jake showcased his talent other than programming: freestyle rapping. To demonstrate, Ricky blindfolded Jake, picked someone randomly from the audience, whispered to Jake one thing about the person, and then Jake unleashed his 'lyrical murder'. He 'killed' three people, and this clip shows one of those 'miracle massacres'.

Note: She isn't Chinese, or even Asian.

Jake's Transcript:

Bitch, go back to China!
Was that clear or do you need a reminder?
Ching ching ting tang ping pang pong
I'm so solly we don't get along
Your grandfather work on railroad track;
that job is gone, now go back
to your Asian, Chinese mommie
your whole family is a commie...
Credits
Tags
82 Likes
  • AA 2 years ago
    Her face is great. "WHAAAAAA?"
  •  
  • janie 2 years ago
    You left it hanging in suspense! Now I wanna know how she battled back; I bet she can spit fire.
  • quizzical44 2 years ago
    "I spit hot fire" - Dave Chappelle.
  • Sean Nelson 10 months ago
    I think that was Dylon. Dylon, Dylon, Dylon. BDlap!
  •  
  • Zach Klein 2 years ago
    Jake, can you post a transcript?
  • charliesteadman 2 years ago
    Zach, you write well. You should write a book. :)
  • Tina Mosh 2 years ago
    I've told him that about 3 times
  • Jakob Lodwick 2 years ago
    Bitch, go back to China!
    Was that clear or do you need a reminder?
    Ching ching ting tang ping pang pong
    I'm so solly we don't get along
    Your grandfather work on railroad track;
    that job finished, now go back
    to your Asian, Chinese mommie
    your whole family is a commie...

    something like that.
  • Zach Klein 2 years ago
    This makes the clip even funnier.
  •  
  • Joel Curran 2 years ago
    Is that line a homage to Donnie Darko?

    By the way - that was hilarious!
  • Jakob Lodwick 2 years ago
    It was an homage.
  • Paul McClintock 2 years ago
    Yeh, I thought so.


    CHUT UP!
  •  
  • trp0 2 years ago
    Hysterical! MC PHP throwin' down.
  •  
  • charliesteadman 2 years ago
    BWAHHH HAAAAA!!! I'm glad you channeled your rage through rap and focused it on someone who doesn't work at CV. I'm picking myself off the floor now. So funny.
  •  
  • Trawin 2 years ago
    HAHAH. Wow - that was great
  •  
  • David Cho 2 years ago
    Ching chang ping pang ting tang chong!
  •  
  • jacob 2 years ago
    that was the third most amazing freestyle rap i've ever seen performed by a white guy blindfolded
  •  
  • justin 2 years ago
    That freestyle rap-battle footage from San Diego should still go up!
  •  
  • Si 2 years ago
    Hahaha, I wish I could hear all the words!
  •  
  • joanna e 2 years ago
    Is that me laughing so loud? I don't want to insult it in case it's not...but jesus, sorry. funny!
  • Zach Klein 2 years ago
    Yeah, that is definitely you.
  • joanna e 2 years ago
    Reason #83 why i think vimeo is creepy: totally busted me laughing obnoxiously loud.
  •  
  • Paul McClintock 2 years ago
    Too funny. We really need a transcript.
  •  
  • aaannnaaa 2 years ago
    hilarious!
  •  
  • dalas verdugo 2 years ago
    shit, i can't hear most of what he's saying. the Rochester freestyles Jake refers to in the video were usually pretty hilarious, although i think maybe the other cipherers weren't too happy to have a "funny guy" in their midst, although Jake was usually oblivious to their disdain. most of the rappers would just spout the same old cliche shit.
  • Jakob Lodwick 2 years ago
    Are you serious? I thought everyone there loved me!
  • dalas verdugo 2 years ago
    with all their hearts!
  •  
  • Amanda 2 years ago
    Thats amazing! her reaction screams "wtf?" more than a 13 year old on AIM.
  •  
  • Will Hutson 2 years ago
    it's all about the body language ... sick.

    finger point?

    never optional, always required.
  •  
  • Marisa Gesualdi 2 years ago
    Holy crap! I was not expecting that. That's hilarious!
  •  
  • pflynn02 2 years ago
    i never knew the mad skillz Jakob has, that was great!
  •  
  • Mary 2 years ago
    That was beautiful! I enjoyed Ricky's subtle dancing in the corner.
  •  
  • streeter seidell 2 years ago
    I would like to see the next battle where you confess that you'd like to make love to a woman "under the glass ceiling."
  •  
  • Ryfourn 2 years ago
    roffle
  •  
  • Tina Mosh 2 years ago
    That was kind of terrifying!
  •  
  • Nick Gray 2 years ago
    Watching this clip was great, thanks for sharing it Zach. I think Jakob's raps are A great.
  •  
  • Courtney Johnston 2 years ago
    I think I just fell in love!
  •  
  • meg 2 years ago
    I can't think of anything I'd be worse at than freestyle rapping. Seriously. I'm in awe.
  •  
  • Jannabelle 2 years ago
    Incredible.
  •  
  • rockslayer 2 years ago
    I lawk it very mauch.
  •  
  • Valeria 2 years ago
    ahahah she was just too surprised to say anything..did she properly reply to you? :D
  •  
  • staceyv 2 years ago
    I want to know what Ricky told him about that woman.
  •  
  • Ricky Van Veen 2 years ago
    I said "Chinatown." The joke was that I was terrible at giving him his "hints."
  • taimaishu 2 years ago
    Why 'chinatown'? From here she looks almost asian!
  •  
  • i say 2 years ago
    That was hilarious.
  •  
  • overunder 2 years ago
    I really should be offended, but fuck it! You one funny white boy! Hahaha :)
  •  
  • surrender2lola 2 years ago
    I didn't think it was funny.
  •  
  •  
  • miss sarah 2 years ago
    oh... my... gosh... i love the expression on that woman's face. priceless!
  •  
  • Ian Lucero 1 year ago
    holy shit!
  •  
  • FitoCalles 1 year ago
    this is one of the many reasons why Vimeo is 10 million times better then YouTube
  •  
  • John Warren 8 months ago
    Favorite part is Jakob ripping off his blindfold at the end.
  •  
  • ♥ La La Lani ♥ 8 months ago
    As someone who actually lives with a "real" rapper, this was actually Pretty Good!! I have a whole new respect for Jakobs many talents, hahaha.
  •  
  • Jackie Birov 3 months ago
    such exuberance!
  •  
This conversation is missing your voice. Take five seconds to join Vimeo or log in.