Two weeks after undergoing initial vitrectomy for a massive and multi-layered subretinal hemorrhage (with its attempted pneumatic displacement), this monocular 56 year-old diabetic returns to the OR with hopes of improved vision and evacuation of remaining blood. Her initial perioperative course was complicated by staggeringly high blood pressures (240/120) and chronic use of anticoagulants. With a hat tip to Dr. McQueen and a curbside cataract extraction under less than ideal circumstances,, this patient had improved to finger counting (at four feet) by post-operative day one. Featured is the use of perfluron heavy liquids to stanch bleeding, its direct exchange with silicone oil, and a handful of cringe-worthy puns.

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