hey Jordan. not bad not bad.

my advice would be to setup the story a little faster and make sure the audience knows that this is a comedy. What I mean is, the story is pretty funny/ridiculous so you need to try to get to the jokes quicker and not have too much setup. So make it shorter, get to the main point faster and really mephasize the jokes.

As for editing. Its a little choppy, and the sound could be used better. A general rule of thumb is to make sure you always capture the room tone. Basically setup the camera in the room you are filming, and just let the camera record the sound of the room without anyone talking or anything. Then, when you edit, you can place that room tone under the footage you are editing so the cuts back and forth won't be so abrupt. I would also add music and or sound to the piece. Watch your favorite comedies or dramas and see how they use sound to help bring out the mood in the film. If you really sit down and study your favorite film, you'll learn a lot.

Otherwise, check out some other sites about filmmaking and you'll be able to teach yourself a lot about the process. So next time you make a film, share it with me and I'll check it out.

Have fun man.