Love can be truly amazing and extremely confusing! Thankfully the ancient Greeks have several different words for love that can help us to understand and navigate the healthy and unhealthy aspects of it. Philos or Philia is mental love. It speaks to the deep comradery friendship that develops between fellow travelers, a sister, a neighbor, brothers in arms, for all mankind, etc. It is about showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, as well as sharing your emotions with them.. Eros is physical passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. Romantic, pure emotion without the balance of logic. We have all been in a love relationship like this, wonderfully fiery and out of control to the point of being "madly" in love. But a relationship based on Eros alone cannot last. There must come into each partner a strong feeling of both Philos and Eros if true union is to be attained.
This is a film depicting the process that two people went through in finding what it means to have a healthy relationship.
The boy offers her a vase of plastic flowers with a big shinny gold ribbon, symbolizing many things: Eros, falseness, conditioned gender roles, media-tized ideas of love. She is not sure she wants to accept all that, and really he is not aware of what he is offering. When the vase is smashed so are all there preconceived notions of what there love affair has to be. They realize they don't have to fit into any mold and are free to set their own unique parameters. They learn to be themselves and retain their individual identity, while allowing the other to have the space to do so as well. Only once they are ready to walk on their own paths in life can they gather the understanding of themselves and each other enough to come and walk together with true offers of love as well as friendship. There are many more symbols in the film but ill let you discover those for yourself!
How much Philos do you presently have in your life?
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