hahahaha, i love it. Specially the music!

To: Bob
Subject: Bug triage override
Hi,
You have been assigned to investigate and fix a number of crash bugs in our online stock exchange system going live on Monday. The bugs manifest infrequently and randomly. The developers haven't been able to pinpoint the issues or the circumstances they occur in. The QA team hasn't been able to reproduce them reliably. Expert help is called for. The developers suggest you start with two.java since it's the easiest to follow. One and three may be tricky. Good luck! Let's talk about any weekend compensation after you've solved the problem.
Thanks,
The Management

LMAO!

Even without being able to read, I can see a bunch of WTFs and anti-patterns.

- Highlander Pattern: all the logic is part of one single package and class.

- Megazord Pattern: a method that accomplishes 20 different tasks and is some 400 lines long. A bunch is just copy 'n paste from other "if" blocks.

- Import hell: Hundreds of unnecessary imports in one single module, increasing VM load times to infinite. Impossible to refactor with certainty.

- Robot comments: IDE-generated comments for each method that just replicate the method argument signature. Totally useless.

- Robot methods: IDE-generated getters/setters and stubs. Just add cruft.

- Coal-train Pattern: one liners that concatenate around 100 different method calls.

- Polka-dot Pattern: magic numbers are everywhere. the programmer liked the colorful code and decided to not refactor hardcoded values into settings.

But... At least one dont need Finder, IDE and this mvn and ant funny stuff anymore.
Notepad rocks....

does it compile?:)

Wow... That's what I would really call bad code!!!

OMG... if this is not machine-generated code (eg parser generator), just kill the author.

Yowza, that has got to be a joke. :P

Wow. Have you measured the cyclomatic complexity? That would be interesting as well, more interesting than the actual line count for me.