Date of Creation: 1995
Synopsis: Despite tightening federal regulations banning televised commercials for tobacco products, Smokey Butts Cigarettes continues to push the boundaries with their customer testimonials, this time featuring their number one customer, Bob "The Ashtray" Evans.
A Brief History: As an attempt to expose us 7th graders to the dangers of cigarette smoking that we were undoubtedly blissfully unaware of, if I remember correctly, we were tasked with creating a "realistic" advertising campaign for cigarettes, one in which the companies had to be honest about the effects. The result? Smokey Butts cigarettes.
The charming spokesperson in the fashionable double-breasted suit was played by fellow 7th grader Tim Burbach, and I played the questionably gay Bob Evans because apparently my voice had changed. I'm not exactly sure why I hacked up a bunch of water after my coughing fit, but I'm sure it got quite the laugh in class.
The hacking, wheezing cougher at the end was my dad, who hopefully had a cold at the time because jesus christ.
Critical Analysis: Obviously the commercial was ineffective, because I probably started smoking a pack a day like the next week. If anything, the commercial opened me up to the idea of that smooth, refreshing tobacco taste, so really I have my catholic grade school education to blame for my addictions. All of them. Pinpointing the nationality of my character, once again, proved to be difficult. I want to say Cajun maybe.
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