WHAT IS ATOMIC TV?
Atomic TV is "A Media Maxi-Pad absorbing the continual flow of Pop Culture." It is bio-degradable and thus may be flushed down any toilet.
ATOMIC TV is the red-haired, freckle-faced stepchild of Baltimore Public Access TV's programming family, a breech baby painfully squeezed out of the birthing canal of that negligent mother we call City Cable. Cloven-hoofed and horn-rimmed, this Hell-spawned birth defect had its butt cheeks dutifully slapped by the attending programming authorities upon its debut in 1997 before the bloody mess was handed back to its deadbeat biological fathers, TOM WARNER & SCOTT HUFFINES, its dangling umbilical cord quickly hooked up to coaxial cable for instant reception into the cable community. Often imitated (see LOST AND FOUND VIDEO), rarely surpassed in ineptitude, it remains another chapter in Baltimore's cultural Hall of Shame, alongside our Holy Trinity heritage of Homicide, Heroin and STDs. An archaic medium in these fast-paced days of High Tech Vodcasting and Broadband Video Streaming, it still has its appeal to our peers in the Great American Economic Underclass. In other words...it's free! It airs on Baltimore City Cable Channel 75. Despite Freedom of Information requests by the public, its exact broadcast time has not yet been declassified by the authorities. Stay tuned and stay the course. If you don't have TiVo, we suggest staying up 24/7 to insure you don't miss a thing.
gENE sIMMINS IS A p****