Elf fu, or Melissa Pence, is a gigantically fat, white girl geek that was born and raised a good girl in Nova Scotia, Canada. Soon after several disastrous events, such as her birth as well as the realization that bugs suck—she grew up into the fine gelatinous blob of blond hair and blue eyes we all know and love today.

At twenty-nine she has finally come to the grudging conclusion that some anime is acceptable and this frightens her as much as it should frighten you. Her (not-so) secret favorites are Bleach, Hellsing, Gankutsuou, Darker than Black, Seirei no Moribito (Guardian of the Sacred Spirit), Ergo Proxy, The Twelve Kingdoms, Haibane Renmei, and a few countless others that may futher assist you in questioning her sanity.

She is married to a fellow geek who she keeps shackled under her computer desk in order to ensure she has the best rig possible and that when ever something goes wrong, like, “there’s a ring-ting-ting in my computer and I can’t find my other earring anywhere!”, he’ll always be there to fix it. On the days she lets him out, he works at a bank.

Someday when Mel grows up, she’d like to be a reasonable digital artist as well as a decent photographer. So far, she’s figured out what the button on the computer and camera do, but she’s adamant in her attempts to master both her camera and her digital art which she’ll no doubt share a lot with some squealing and harsh-self criticism.

Her writing tends to cover all aspects of her life, from the disgustingly human, her journeys in photography, humor, humane and horrific of the mundane. She tends to be crass, generally brutally honest and slightly insane. She dreams someday of being remembered as an artist, but will settle for being known as a fun loving goober head through her writing. Occasionally, she pretends at story telling as well as poetry and you get to be the poor schmuck that has to read it.