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  1. Statler & Waldorf

    Statler & Waldorf The Balcony, Muppet Theater

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    We believe that anything worth doing is worth complaining about . . . that if you can't say something nice, then you're our kind of people . . . and, most of all, that today is the first day of what's left of your life.

  2. Beaker

    Beaker Muppet Labs

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    Meep meep meep meep! Meep meep meep meep. VIMEO TRANSLATOR: I love to break the laws of physics and not get caught.

  3. The Swedish Chef

    The Swedish Chef Nort Svørskåå Tøwnsh

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    Yenggoosveer de hoop-de-diskee-doo Yee-boom de hurdee yer humm! Børk! Børk! Børk! VIMEO TRANSLATOR: Who’s hungry!?

  4. Sam Eagle

    Sam Eagle America

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    I am an American and an Eagle. And as a citizen of this great nation, I am not required to give any further information to any weirdoes who may be reading this. Thank you.

  5. Rizzo The Rat

    Rizzo The Rat Sewer, Under Hollywood & Vine

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    I enjoy being a rat, in every sense of the word. To me, verminitude is a way of life, a commitment to being the first off the ship and the last to leave the buffet. Plus, nobody expects much from you, which is a good thing cause I ain't sharing with nobody, so bug off . . . oh, and have a nice day!

  6. The Great Gonzo

    The Great Gonzo Custard Shields, CA

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    I believe in living on the edge, up among the stars, out where you can feel the winds of adventure blowing through your ears just before you hit that brick wall up ahead hard . . . and boy is this gonna hurrrrrrrrt!

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