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12 mins
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18 reviews

Judy GAL

Judy GAL

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Thank-you for producing this video. We are circulating it among the Guardian ad Litem volunteers and staff who advocate for children who have been removed from their homes due to allegations of abuse, neglect and abandonment. This is one story but it tells the tale for tens of thousands of children.

Marianne Kibler

Marianne Kibler

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This sadly mirrors my 8 year olds experience but we are safe and healing now! I think it is a fantastic representation that should be shared and circulated among guidance programs at school, church programs, and any other agency that is in place to help children like this.....many seriously don't realize the intricacies of the emotions these little ones harbor....if kids aren't flagged and provided treatment, there is any number of guesses as to how their adult lives will turn out....we have seen far too frequently the horrors of mental illness and misdirected anger in the school, movie theater, mall, and other shootings......don't be afraid to share it....watching, agreeing, feeling, and then doing nothing contributes to the problem!

Stacy York

Stacy York

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I am so thankful for this video! I would love to talk directly with the producers. I am a licensed clinical social worker who sees foster/adoptive children. I also train the professionals who work with them. I would love to use this video during my trainings. With your permission, of course! Powerful!

City Without Orphans

City Without Orphans

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Thanks for making this video. We will definitely support it by buying the download and we will use it to get the word out to more people about the need for quality foster parents. Great job!

Kyle Cowling

Kyle Cowling

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Beautifully done. Haunting and poetic. I loved it!

Red Fox

Red Fox

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More films like this need to be made and circulated. I was more than happy to pay the $25.00 in support of such efforts. Who will help the children? We will. Thank you and may God bless your organization.

Corey Sim

Corey Sim

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This film is very well done with great pacing, visuals and traffic acting. Also a very great message. Excellent job.

Becky Fisher Moyer

Becky Fisher Moyer

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I was a foster parent for many years and had over 30 children in my home. I have seen it all. And yes it is very hard to let them go. I have one little girl I got when she was 17 months only and I was her Mommy for 4 years. She ended up getting adopted with her 2 brothers to some wonderful people, a mental health dr and a teacher. I am still allowed to be in their life which is a blessing. She is now 14 and her brother is graduating high school in May and we are going to Iowa to celebrate this milestone. I thank God everyday I am allowed to still be a part of their lives. It was actually a miracle. Of all people, my neighbors adopted them !

Dianne

Dianne

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Coming from a foster kids view, this video is awesome.. I wish I had a mommy..

Kelly Ruffing

Kelly Ruffing

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Love, love, love this. I hope it moves people to do more to support kids in care.

serdal

serdal

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i still cry

Karen Holtz

Karen Holtz

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I am a 48 yr old woman, I been mentally disabled since 1992. Due to the mental & physical (sexual & just being beat) abuse I endured when I was achild growing up, from my step dad. I was also sexually abused by my older brother (he saw step dad sexually abusing me so brother started to when told to go play outside we go play in the woods. One day he threw me down and raped me.) One day step dad saw brother sexually abusing me. Step dad jioned in, now they would tag team rape me. Mother she hated me, never told me she loved me, never wanted me she told me. This is what happens to children that go through abuse. My abuse began at age 4 my earliest memory that was step dad in my room touching my privates while he thought I was sleeping. I was so scared because my first memory of being hit (back handed across my face I was 3) I been kicked in my back & stomach cause I didnt do what I was told. I. Was terrified when step dad would come in and touch me. Then it progressed to his mouth and finger. I hated my life then and now. My step dad during summer cause I had no school got my a nice summer dress said he was taking me to a party. When there it was all men. There were at least 30 men I was 8 yrs old. They were feeding me this punch kept making me drink it. I was being called over to sit on one person slap, and they would be bouncing me on there knee. There placement of their hands made me uncomfortable. I remember feeling funny, getting loopy. They drugged me. I heard talk of money, I was carried down stairs by a man I heard I been wanting this all my life. Step dad was not the one who took my virginity, he played down thier but never did what happened to me next. Step dad was there with the man. He saw the man take off my dress and panties I was layed on a bed. I had more bunch poured in my mouth told to swallow. Next thing I know step dad was hold me down, my legs were being held open the man had no cloths on he put his face between my legs. I wanted to fight but I couldnt they had me pinned down I wanted to scream and cry out for. Help but I couldnt talk whatever they had in the punch I couldnt move or talk but I. Could still hear not clearly but I think back it makes me sick that. My step dad sold my age and virginity to the highest bidder. I dont know how much time went by heard words that a little girl should not be called. Then I see the man on his knees between my legs I felt him start to enter heard him say something to the fact she better be worth the $100, 000. He sold my age and my virginity. I felt him one one hard thrust he was in. I screamed. He tore me he was to big I remember saying it hurts, stop. Step dad called me a few choice names and told me to shut up. The man said I can shut her up, he sat on my chest and put it in my mouth, step dad held my head still. I gagged and threw up my head was turned then he just continued. I dont know how long he stayed there but he made his way back between my legs on his knees. Step dad I kept hearing him say. Fu*k that slu**y little c*nt this is the only thing I was good enough for. The man finished inside me I felt in run down me. Dad screamed out all of a sudden I see all the men that were upstairs. I was nothing but a toy there for them to play with. He let them all rape me for $1000 each. That was how I lost my virginity. After everyone had me and all finished in me. I layed in a puddle wishing i was i was Dead, my privates hurting to where i couldnt even stand or walk. I was told by step dad if I told anyone of this he would kill me. After that day step dad raped me almost every single day. When no one was home he would, late at night he wake me up and sexually abuse me. Any time he could he would. Sometimes he had friends rape me. My brother jioned in when I was 10 or 11 he was 3 yrs older than me. He said that he saw stepdad doing it when he threw me in the tall weeds in the woods as he raped me saying step dad was right I was a great Fu*k. Brother shared me with his buddies, just like step dad did. I was convinced I was nothing but made to be there for everyone's pleasure. A whore. They all kept this up my whole life growing up at home. Thing is I never remembered any of it. Till later in life. I had a flashback. Something triggered a memory. Then I started having nighmares. I thought I was losing. My mind. I all my life lost time. I would not know what day it was at times. I never really remembered my childhood adolescents or. High school years till I started theropy. The theropist found me a hypnotherapist I found I have alters that took my abuse growing up. When a. Child goes through major sexual and mental abuse/trama the mind can dissociate the child cannot handle what is happening that the child dispears so deep in their mind that a new consciousness/alternative personality can be created/born. They were created to protect the abused. To take the abuse that would lead any child to an acute mental break. I wasnt even as a young adult wasnt aware till someone brought it to my attention & said to me he said there are time I am shy sweet, other times very guy like working on cars fixing and making house repairs. Times where I am susie homemaker, or a girly girl wearing make up doing my hair & nails. Times were ii was ms. Manners with please thank you's and your welcomes. Then I could be a bad a** like biker bit*h person type attitude. Then times were I can be silly a child like, then a superslob, to having to be super perfect and organized. I even had times I would be very sexual/sexually domnate or submissive. I would have alot of one nighters, times I hated all men angry, then I could be scared of all people coming agoraphobic. Times I would see a guy mistreat a woman and I guess I went up to him and punched him in the mouth told him dont ever treat women like this lecture and gave the woman my number if he ever mistreated her to call me. I would kick his a**. I lost alot of time but I chalked it up to bad memory. But thats when I told my theropist and I started hypnotherapy. I had DID (disociative identity disorder) it use to be called MPD ( multiple personality disorder). My mental diagnosis's are PTSD, PERSONALITY DISORDERS, EATING DISORDERS, 1 ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE, BIPOLAR/MANIC DEPRESSIVE TYPE 2, SEVERE REOCCURRING DEPRESSION, SEASONAL DEPRESSION, ADHD, AGORAPHOBIA, ANXIETY DISORDER, SEVERE PANIC DISORDER, CUTTING MYSELF, BURNED MYSELF, PICKING MY FACE/BODY MAKING SORES, OCD, To treat my bipolar when no medications were helping they gave me ECT'S -Electric convulsive therapy, use to be called electric shock treatment (I WAS PUT THROUGH EVERY MONTH FOR A 3 YEAR PERIOD from july 2006-summer 2009. Ect treatments are ment to be short term not what they did to me. I lost alot of memories good and the bad. People who knew me before say I am not the same person. I have different interests different all the way around. I am a adult 48. I have a daughter who hates me due to my mother undermining everything I did fir my daughter. I lost my daughter when she was 11 at 16 she told me she hated my guts & never wanted to see or hear from me again. My mother has brainwashed my daughter since day one putting false memories in her head. I wrote a nasty letter to my mother she let my daughter read it at age 16. My daughter thinks my mother is a god in her eyes. My mother does no wrong. Now my 26 yr old daughter is pregant' they are getting married, I dont know this man I will never know my grandchild, and I wont see my only vhild walk diwn the isle when she gets married. My. Fiance who I been with for 7 yrs knew him for 9 years. Passed away lat may 31st due to complications of his MS, AFIB, DIABETES, ENLARGED HEART. I was his caretaker more than anything else. I didn't want him to die always ne he had no one. He eccepted me and my mental illnesses and I eccepted his. I knew I would end up caring for him. But I didnt realize how deeply I would fall in love with him. I was his medical power of attourney. He was put in a medically induced coma. He wasnt getting enough oxygen to his brain. I had to sign the papers to take him off life support. We were going to be married in October. I have no one, I have no family no friends anymore, my therpist and shrink lost them back in 2011. My primary care dr gives me my psych meds. I wish there was a site where people like me could go to. When I say like me I mean an "Adult child in need of parents" and people could sign up saying they are willing to be parents to adult children like me who are all alone and have no one. I know so many people online like me who say yeah that would be so wonderful. We get no Christmas presents on christmas day, we get no birthdays, no Easters, no Thanksgivings, no mom or dad to hold us when we hurt. All we see is the young children getting help. Families with kids get help. Are there moms and dads out there willing to help the older forgotten children of the past? If I died tomorrow no one would even care. No one would shed a tear. I am a good person, I need to be loved just like everyone else does. I am tired of being alone, I will never want to try to look or find another man again. I had my true love and when his suffering ended mine began. I see no end to this never endless pain and emptiness in my heart. He was adopted so were his older brother who lived way far away from him so did his older sister. His brother promised I would always be part of the family even after he was gone, that everything would be split in thirds the day he died was the day his brother told me he his wife and sister all hated my guts. I was in shock. He never gave my live a memorial service. Never kept any if the financial promises that concerned me. He kicked me out of our home, he was executor of the estate and he slept in our bed. It tore me apart, he changed the locks on the house, he took the plates of his car. Treated me like a stranger but while my love was alive I thought I was part of his family and truely loved by them. Its been almost a year since he passed away, not one if our friends have even called me to see how I am. None of them even helped me move to my tiny apartment complx ment fir 65 and older, and the mentally and physically dusabled. My place looks like a warehouse cant afford storage locker. My only internet is my phone. I have no cable. Just me and his cat, and a bunch if stuff piled up that I cant go through by myself but dont trust anyone to help cause ppl steal. Esp. Ppl in my building. I am tired I need a mom that could call me we go out for coffee and talk a dad to say its going to be ok. And this is not about money, I will get by. I just want to be for once in my life to be loved by a mom and a dad. There are so many adult children who need families cause we have none. Wish people were wanting and willing to Adopt(maybe not legally) the forgotten adult children of abuse. We need love too. It just doesnt seem like anyone cares not even churches. This is what happens to the children of abuse who dont get rescued when their young. they turn out like me. I appologize to all if I am out of line by saying everything I did. I just want people to realize why I have no family, why I am alone. And maybe someone will see this and it will somehow make a difference. I am truely convinced that I had to have done something so horrable/horrific that I am being punished for it. I just dont remember what I did. Thats why my life has been so miserable. Help.

Emotional Eyes

Emotional Eyes

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I was very moved by this video. It reminds me the emotional struggles that I went through as an abused child. But I did not let my past destroy my life. That's why I created www.emotionaleyes.com to give voice to people like this girl (the character in the film) who otherwise would never get their voice heard. I linked the free version of this video to www.emotionaleyes.com. I also paid for the download version to support this video production team for its invaluable work.

Ethan Aronson

Ethan Aronson

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This is fantastic! I train potential foster/resource families and this really speaks volumes!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Sergio Romero

Sergio Romero

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I am becoming a foster parent for this exact reason. I want to give hope and joy to some of the foster children out there. The children should not be punished or mistreated because of an adult person's error in life. I am not going to lie, I cried with this video. I purchased the video so I can help the people who made it possible and now is going to be my mission to make this public to the naked eye of humanity. I am going to start in my town helping as much children as I can. Thank you so much for this video. All the credit goes to Nathanael & Christina Matanick for making this video posible.

About HESCHLE

Joined 8 years ago

nathanael@heschle.com

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