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On•tol•og•ica! |änˈtäləjikə!|
noun, verb

1. A film about Everything.

2. An epic and mind-bending trip through reality at all levels.

3. An award winning independent feature film in which virtually every major area of human knowledge and experience is explored. Including, but not limited to: cosmology, quantum physics, evolutionary biology, spirituality, sexuality, neurology, philosophy, and cucumber-ology. All ideas and concepts are explored in an original, entertaining, and artistic way. You'd obviously have to be a complete idiot not to go see this film. It even has giraffes in it.

4. An experimental cinematic creation that defies traditional categorization. Not to be confused with either a fictional narrative or a documentary.

5. An experience unlike any experience that has ever been experienced. Not dissimilar to the act of loading the Universe into a shotgun and firing it into your brain. See also: Mindfuck.

6. The blissful realization of the True Nature of Reality, the Universe, and Everything. A peek behind the Cosmic Curtain to glimpse the Eternal Truth obscured by the Almost Infinite Bullshit. A bite from the Cosmic Cucumber.

7. The satisfaction of hidden desires for the Unknown Pleasures of Eternal Lust. An Existential Orgasm.

WARNING: this film contains gratuitous sex, uncivilized violence, perverse language, religious blasphemy, cosmic consciousness, truth, beauty, knowledge, reality, and cucumbers. Viewing this film may cause suicidal cravings and/or feelings of eternal spiritual bliss in otherwise perfectly healthy people. Under no circumstances is it safe or advisable for this film to be viewed by anyone, ever.

External Links


  1. Anthony Francisco Schepperd
  2. TSO Photography