When I first inherited this kingdom, what we call Leicester today was a small settlement nestling in the elbow of land formed by the River Soar. You could see where the water ran off across the land in brooks and streams carrying the flood down to the river. If you have wisdom and old knowledge of the denizens you didn't fashion an abode near these silver streams unless you were ready for trouble with some effort. Also the soil beneath our feet would drink the rain to feed the springs and wells of the town. Casting a gimlet eye about in these times reveals a ancient land almost completely covered with all manner of hard minerals, for car parks and abodes which reject the raindrops and direct their flows where the Corporation desires them to go. But desire is not to have and when the indigo storm clouds gather above us, we must pray that someone has inspected every street drainhole, culverts, sewer, brook and stream and left them running free and open. For when the mighty storm delivers a deluge that defies old memories for a likeness, there will be places that will be inundated although they will be nowhere near a overflowing waterway. 'Pluvial Flooding', as my Council women informed me, was an increasing danger to communities due to the reasons I have already made clear.
This where the knave arrives in this account as he has been volunteered as the Volunteer Flood Warden for the Castle Precinct and I made a point of informing them of his truculent usefullness in cleaning out the most noisome of gullies and sumps. I also was please to note that he received a yellow coat with FLOOD WARDEN scribed on the back that will save me buying him a winter coat this year. So while he walks the Bainhounds each morning he follows a regular route around the boundries, physically examining every grating, culvert and fastfood outlet for choking blockages of fatty accuminations that he brings back in old sacks to render down into fuel for the sewage sump pump. Of course he leaves the yellow jacket in the cloak room for fear of him soiling it while on his rounds!
I am pleased that I can make such a contribution to the community.