Gone are the temples where sex was once celebrated. They are relegated to an era now called primitive. As a culture we have turned over our most sophisticated conversations about sex to the comedians and we go to dark clubs to laugh and toast to what we know is true, but somehow feel ashamed to say in the daylight. Honest discussions about good sex, where fantasies are allowed, especially some of the darker ones, have few open arenas. Comedians are our Coyotes, our tricksters, living on the margins of society but doing us a great service. They offer us release from the anxiety we feel around Eros, that spirit which stirs in all of us from young child to great grandparent. It looks distinct at our different stages of living, but creation is our calling.
As religious people we should reclaim some of that territory from the comedians. Morality should be mirthful. It should be festive. Our sex-lives would improve if we would wrest them away from the guilt and the shame of being vulnerable. In addition to the hard won freedoms of the sexual revolution, which gave us permission to have sex for reasons other than procreation, which gave us the freedom to have sex with members of the same gender, we might also seek the inherent spirituality that comes in “surrendering to a full emotional as well as physical orgasm.”