One afternoon, I was capturing the Event at the praise and worship service, when tears suddenly flowed down my cheeks. I was confused and I searched my feelings, emotions and heart. Looking for a good sight to take pictures, I felt like I am in the wilderness, I felt alone and miserable. Depression surrounded me, but I knew that God was in the downhearted. Unspoken word yelled up, "I missed my sister" Why did she died and left me? Why did God let me live? "Finally, I sobbed one last time, "I missed my dear sister." A door was open inside and years of bottled up grief flooded my whole being. I hold my hand so tight, I'm going to break my wrist.
On that instance, I recalled the Love of the Father, and He led me back to the origin of a grief I had buried. When I was under twenty one years old, my sister died. She was a Catholic Benedictine Nun, serving the Lord at the a monastery in Germany. I was devastated and mourned for weeks. She often wrote me a letter of hope, encouragement and loving God. And she was praying for me day and night. Yet Abba Father wanted to tend to the wound. He allowed my tears and met me in my sadness. In that moment of silence at the praise and worship service, it made see the whole picture that I am in his vineyard, working as a Servant. Will you be one to serve him?