Blind | The world where I can't be but you live in - section 3 ~ 4
みちに虹 Michi ni niji --- I saw an oil mark on a black pavement near my apartment in Providence. The sunlight made it iridescently shine, and seeing it sent me back to the time when I was a child. I was too small to know what the rainbow things on the pavement were, but they mesmerized me. My friend and I wanted to recreate the same beautiful rainbows, so we carefully poured seven different pigments into a puddle. They settled in the bottom of the shallow water, and no rainbows appeared. We stirred the water, but it simply made it muddy. By thinking about this memory, other memories from my childhood came back.
ひぐれ Hirure --- Higure conveys the feelings of later life, which includes wisdom, fatigue, resignation, acceptance, and relief. It represents the final phase in the arc of a person’s life, and my own life, as I imagined it to be. Tension and calmness coexist. The very slow tempo illustrates the time of decline in life. There is not much energy left, but one is doing one’s best to live and getting ready to depart to another world. It is slow as if someone is resisting the flow of time. Time does not go backwards. The piece represents the mortal nature of the world and my relief at being surrounded by and yet able to escape from memories. It, too, is emotional to hold a ritual to send off lost ones and someone who I may lose in the future. That someone can be me as well.
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