Anger makes us feel safe and unsafe. The person who is angry feels safe. The person who the anger is pointed at feels unsafe.
This is an unequal equation.
Under attack there are three responses: the person who is attacked becomes angry (fight), cannot say anything (fright) or walks away (flight). A lot has been said about these responses (perhaps you are even tired of hearing it ;)); truth to behold these 3 responses rule us 99% of the time when we don’t feel safe.
How safe do you feel to speak your truth and say that you are hurt? How willing are you to let yourself be seen vulnerable?
How well oiled is the mechanism to not even recognize the pain and resort instantaneously to anger? How often have you practiced to become angry? How many years?