First Short-Art-Movie By Edgar Allan Fish Memorial Center. Music By Testing Vault.
Notes From dANi/ALvo, The Artist:
On 27 July of 2007, I reached the edge.
I remember waking up after a normal afternoon nap, totally in an insane kind of terror.
My vision was distorted as watching in a spoon (just, not seeing the things upside down)... all the sensations were bring to the extremes, bringing then panic and hysteria, I wasn't able at all to control my body, that was going to explode in a massive nervous breakdown, after four, five years of WRONG MEDICINES that the mental hospital was giving to me.
My weight was of 43 kilograms. Dressed. I never had improvements, I was agoraphobic, I wasn't able to get out of home for real nor to make 10 minutes of travelling car (one time I was so filled with panic I just almost throw out myself from the machine while it was running inside a tunnel)
The worst was that I was totally CONSCIOUS of what was happening.
My mind was lucid, but my body didn't respond to me... I was just able to think I'm going to die.
I took an appointment thanks to my parents to a private doctor (they bring me from him keeping me up along the road as I was a dead corpse after one hour of car... inside the studio I was just squatting, and shaking and looking at a plant... this same doctor, actually is curing successfully from four years the damages I suffered from being an alchoolic and with so many neurosis I can't count them) - then I passed three days on the edge of becoming cathatonic, for bring the pain away, I suppose.
I remember that I passed three days just awake all the time. If you're going to sleep, God knows if you will ever wake up.
The hospital in my city didn't helped me at all. No medicines, nothing of nothing.
On the afternoon of the second day, I just thought "my grandfather got a gun in his closet..."
But I wasn't able to reach it, thanks to the fear of moving from my place. This was a favour I own to God, or to my spiritual mentors I found along the road. Instead of shooting, I turned the pc on and played "The Complete Shit Exorcism" song... which was what I was living in these three days of terror.
Years are passed, my grandfather's passed, my health is slowly improving.
Now I'm 64 kilograms, still neurotic, lunatic, and well, with my problems... as everyone.
I try to make a shortfilm two years ago about what I thought that day... composing again "The Complete Shit Exorcism" visually this time... it is a zero budget shortfilm, so please understand that was my first experience with a videocamera in my hands, and I was quite upset to bring these memories back, in my grandfather's home, after few months after his death.
I choose to spread this film for FREE, as it deserves to see the light of the day... it's indipendent, and with zero "technic", but heartfelt, human and meaningful.
Totally Testing Vault-ish.
I hope you can enjoy it. It's an act of voyeurism to see this movie. But I'm not ashamed of my illness, nor of my mental condition of "depressed/lunatic/people with OCD" (which is confirmed as permanent probably...).
And I hope someone of you will like, in some way, the experience.
I sold some physical handmade copies of this dvd and it was a great success, but the work was too much and then I thought... ok, let's free this spirit. For free ;)
27 July 2011.
For Knowing More About This Art Project And His Musical Movements, Please Google Out "Edgar Allan Fish Memorial Center"!!!