My obsession with the suicide of my father was a driving force behind my work for years. By examining my family’s impeccable 16mm archival family footage, I began the journey into my family history and the nature of the archive.
My family has a very privileged, yet very tragic past. Blessed with success and wealth, there have also been an inordinate amount of premature deaths, many cases of substance addictions, bitter relationships and abusive behavior. However, what is depicted in the archive is idyllic and picturesque. I became interested in the dichotomy between what is preserved in a family archive, and what is remembered about the actual events. This film explores how events I was not present for may have affected me, and how I can then reclaim them as my own “post-memory”, a term coined by Marianne Hirsch. By working with these potent images, I am attempting to reconnect with a person and a place that no longer exists.
Consisting of archival film, as well as footage shot by myself at the scene of his death, this film is truly a succinct portrayal of my visceral reaction to the knowledge of my father’s suicide.