Within a day or two, Jaymi sees the first online rumours and appetite-whetting hints of Bang Dead’s Righteous Gun and the Righteous Gun Cockpit starting to pop up, in a range of relevant feeds and streams, especially alongside the “Guy Score”—the tuning-up of an orchestra that’ll soon blast forth in unstoppable overture to a publicity symphony of quite flattening banality and deep-pocketedness. There are whispered promises of live events featuring teams of local players in competition, with commentators. There are slick invitations to every individual to stake their claim on their own unique permutation of Righteous Gun warrior garb (choose from these options), Righteous Gun weapons (choose from these) and a chosen one of the Ten Commandments to swear lazily impassioned allegiance to.
Massive, wearisome energy.
Massive, wearisome community engagement.
And massive, wearisome effectiveness, almost inevitably.
For Jaymi, every such mention triggers a picture of the gum-chewing Dud sprawled by his infinity pool, up at the Blue Jay Way house. And the sheer toe-curling distastefulness of this picture reminds him of something he should have put into action already—his intention to dispatch Evelyn on a discreet mission to visit Dud’s cynical, do-gooding cockpit in Westmont, so as to perpetrate some mischief against it.
Fine. It’s time she was sent down to South Central without delay, on a mission to … what?
To be frank, he’s not quite certain yet. What exactly should she do? A creator isn’t born knowing such things, after all; they must be learned from experience.
Very well then, he will leave it to Evelyn herself to work out the details. She has a savvy volition all her own. She’s a street-wise chick and a smooth operator. She’ll know what to do, once she’s down there. All he’ll need to do is sit and watch, from behind her eyes. She and Amber will make a killer team!
For the third time Jaymi knocks on the door of the guest wing. Hearing her footsteps, he feels a churn of trepidation regarding her likely mission-readiness. But his concerns are allayed when the door opens revealing a return to the same dynamic Evelyn, with the golden-hooped earrings, who appeared when he first incarnated her in the Melrose Avenue building: swinging in from sunlight, a belt of bullets across her shoulder and down around her bared midriff, a wide black belt over a short scarlet dress, with scarlet high heels, a gun holstered at her right side, a switchblade in her left hand and a lush yellow rose behind her ear beside cascading black hair.
“Fantastic!” says Jaymi. That’s the spirit.”
She grins. “Got my mojo back.”
“Cool beans. And guess what—it’s mission time! I want you and Amber to go down to Westmont, where I need the two of you to wreak a little havoc on … well, let’s call them business rivals of mine. So, first of all, go and introduce yourself to Amber. He lives just up the street, near the bottom of Jupiter Drive. You can walk there from here: turn right outside the front gates, head uphill and it’s the first turning on the right. Here’s the street address,” and he hands her a slip of paper with the house number on. “Ring the bell and he’ll let you in.”
“OK. How far away is this?”
“Fifteen minutes for the journey, and five minutes for the unforeseen. It’s a steep hill, but you’ll find it a piece of cake, I’m sure. So: go Evelyn! Why not head up to the house on Jupiter Drive right now? That sounds good, yes? There’s no time like the present.”
“Is Amber going to tell me all about his sister’s rabbit collection?”
“Er, no, he won’t do that. He has no sister. Consequently there are no rabbits. The focus of your mission will be something called the Righteous Gun Cockpit. I’ve briefed him about it, so he’ll bring you up to speed while he’s driving you to Westmont. I’m not sure what precise action you’ll be taking, but I’m confident you’ll both know what to do when you get down there.”
She whoops, then leans in and kisses her maker on the cheek. “You’ve got me fired up now, Jaymi! Leave it to us—you’re in safe hands. I’m ready. OK then—I fly!” And she strides on down the main hallway towards the front entrance of the house on Electra Drive.
Left alone at her door, Jaymi twirls in a circle, then returns to his study.
For more about "The Beasts of Electra Drive" by Rohan Quine, see
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For some great reviews of it, see
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And to pick it up from whichever retailer you prefer, the retailers’ links for the audiobook format are at
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