You want to be respectful, right? So, check in with yourself. You’ll know if there’ve been times you’ve hurt women and haven’t been as respectful as you want to be. It may have been physical, or you used words or manipulation to bully her. Before, you might not have known why she was unhappy, but now you can see that she was feeling unsafe – because you’ve been listening and believing. Whether it was years ago or just today, you’ll be able to see how you could’ve acted differently.
Put aside the shame and act
It’s not fun thinking about times when you’ve behaved badly. Don’t beat yourself up about it – it’s in the past and now you can do better. It’ll be heaps easier if you talk to a mate about this – someone who gets what you’re trying to do.
Once you’ve decided what you could have done differently, decide on simple things you’ll change, like taking time out to calm down if you’re angry, or listening more to what she’s saying before reacting.
Know your triggers
There are times when you’re more likely to lose it. It might be when you’re angry, stressed, feeling embarrassed, drunk or on drugs – have a think about what situations trigger you, and come up with better ways to handle these times in future. For example, pick times when you’re calm and alcohol-free to have proper conversations with women.
You can be the guy you want to be – it just starts with a commitment to act respectfully.
Check out more ideas in the ‘Power of Behaviour’ section in the Toolbox