'We All Liked Him'
performed at Zero de Conduite, Elevator Gallery, London
14 March 2008, approx 10 min.
written and directed by Oriana Fox
choreographed by Katherine Shirley
performed by Oriana Fox, Moonie King, Claire Soares, Alice Theobald, Sven Olivier Van Damme and Ianthe Wright
Five ladies and one gentleman take over the dance floor, doing the hustle in formation to The Bee Gee's hit 'You Should be Dancing'. Hips thrusting and arms gyrating, the stud takes each lady one by one for a spin to clear some space for his solo. As he performs a routine to make John Travolta green with envy, I take the microphone. The music fades slightly as I recount a dream I had.
"I was back in high school. The cutest boy in the whole school was running around the track. Me and my girlfriends looking out of a window staring. I could see the lust in all our eyes reflected in the window as we sang the Brady Bunch theme song: 'All of them had hair of gold, like their mother.' And that’s when I noticed that my friends and I all had blonde hair, like our TV mother. We were TV sisters, so close, so alike. And we shared a desire for the same boy. Would this tear us apart? Would I choose my sisters or leave them for The Boy? Must I choose?"
The music gets louder and the women encircle the lone male, enticing him. A cat-fight breaks out, one lady grabs another by her hair, another gets an elbow in the gut until one lady is left to dance one-on-one with Him. She thinks she has got him all to herself when another chick finally recovers and tears her away too. The music grinds to a halt and a spotlight illuminates a giant papier-mâché cock. The first lady to notice it screams, alerting the others. In a moment of camaraderie they desert the stud and storm the penis piñata. With sticks ready to hand they destroy the phallus in a frenzy. After a concerted and violent effort, assorted white candies, condoms and confetti burst out.