The Manitoba Legislative Building was attacked today by a militant cell of digital terrorists. Armed only with their high-tech smart phones, the digital terrorists virtually levelled the historic building as seen in the above video.
Government officials say there is no feasible way to rebuild this building, once a hot spot for masonic activity and conniving politics. In the meantime legislative proceedings have been relocated to a housing co-op on Keewatin St. across from the Tim Horton's, by Fred's old place.
Rumours are already flying about the potential repurposing of the legislative site. Gail Asper has already come forward with an artists conception of the Asper Horizontal Rock-Climbing Wall for Handicapped Children. Mayor and father-to-be Sam Katz has criticized this plan, saying "only a fucking megalomaniac lunatic would propose some kind a dagnabbit idea like this" and continued to call the handicapped children "dem young whippersnappers".
If Katz has his way, Goldie's Happy Ending Hot Tubs and Water Park will be erected by construction crews before the end of 2012. Rhea Yates, press secretary for the mayor says the new recreation and relaxation centre will be "a load of fun for the whole family." Yates also explained that Winnipeg taxpayers need not worry, since the entire project will be funded using the pension funds of Winnipeg Transit employees.
But many expect that perennial Winnipeg favourite Leo Ledohowski, owner of the Canad Inns dynasty, will be successful in this ongoing bidding war. Ledohowski has plans to build a "really, really, really nice parking lot, with all of the modern amenities," for the employees of Great-West Life across the street. "People will like it," he added angrily.
When asked about the ethics of paving over the site of one of the most prominent structures in Winnipeg, Ledohowski replied, "Oh c'mon. It was really, really, really old already. This is what they call progress."