If you are healthy and have a family member, friend, co-worker that has shared they are ill ( but deep down you question because they look 100% healthy in your eyes), please check out this video. I am happy to open up and share what I am calling "The Aftermath."
Some alternatives to "You look so good!"
- I am so happy to see you today.
- I have really missed you.
-I love those earrings, necklace, shirt, etc.
-You look beautiful. (This feels vastly different than, "but you look so good!")
-Thank you so much for being here.
Heads up! Try not to use the word, "but" in front of the words, "You look so good!" When I hear the word "but" my mind heads in all different directions. This is what I hear in my head.
-Are you really as sick as you say?
-You look "normal" to me.
-I don't think this girl is as sick as she says she is.
You may be thinking to yourself. "That's her issue. It's something she needs to work out in her head." I ask that you trust that when you are living with an invisible chronic illness you spend a great deal of time trying to convince people you are sick because you are constantly hearing phrases like, "but you look so good!" My outward appearance doesn't often reflect the internal turmoil.
The definition of the word "but":
"Used to introduce something contrasting with what has already been mentioned."
Sensitivity goes a long way. This is really a case where " think before you speak" makes a world of difference to another person.
Hope this helps. :)
* Don't hesitate to share alternatives to the words, "You look so good!"
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