The lights are bright. I am standing on a stage alone. I can feel my legs are trembling and my breathing is shallow.
There are 700 hundred people looking at me…in a bikini! Inside my head I am laughing. I am laughing so hard that it almost drowns out the feelings of sheer terror from a) being on a stage in front of a bunch of people and, hello, b) being on a stage in front of a bunch of people in a bikini! I strut across the stage in my (they can only be described as porno) shoes, you know the ones that are clear and platform-ish – refer to photo. And all I can think is, “Please don’t fall over on a stage in front of a bunch of people, in a bikini, wearing porno shoes.”
I make it to the other side of the stage. I am still trembling but I remain composed and the laughter in my head begins again. In a moment of clarity and sheer triumph I say to myself, “Holy shit, I pulled it off! I am sauntering across a stage in a bikini with an overwhelming sense of pride that I have done it naturally and without medical intervention.”
The way I felt can only be described like the scene at the end of one of my favourite movies “Kill Bill”, when Uma Thurman is rolling around on the tiles of a bathroom, crying and laughing uncontrollably because she had accomplished an unimaginable and inconceivable mission. Unfortunately I didn’t have the privacy of a bathroom floor, I was having my unimaginable and inconceivable moment in front of an audience. So instead I just smiled. I smiled at the judges, I smiled in the direction of where my husband was sitting and I smiled to the world.
And it was at that moment I decided that I would share to anyone who would listen my humble story and journey from a self-loathing, body-hating individual to a proud and confident positive body image advocate.
Taryn Brumfitt bodyimagemovement.com.au
Film Crafted with love by Enlightening Films enlighteningfilms.com.au
Music Licensed through Music Bed Tony Anderson Rise