Facebook have an app that say “see Your 2013 Year in Review”, an app that “checks out the biggest moments from the past year”, based on your timeline.
This app would work very well for those who have a complete timeline that documented everything that happened throughout the year. I don’t need the app, as much of my life was very much out in the public.
2013 started very well. I celebrated the turn of 2013 on a rooftop, watching firework with love ones. It was a wonderful evening. It was a beautiful night, a beautiful celebration, and I was looking forward to more beautiful memories.
Relationships dominated my 2013; from friendship to romance, from a 2-year affair that caused a chaos, a fling that got me into trouble, and a romance that ended a long friendship. For a person that complained I am unlucky in love, I had a very colourful love life.
My colourful romantic life has got me into trouble that is well documented in the public, but not the whole truth. No one out there was interested with the truth. Reading the stories was like reading women magazines. The truth lies with those involved. We know what the truth is and we know about the journey. We are the only ones who know.
I have learnt a lot about the media in New Zealand. Journalists stalking you outside your home, calling and texting you, harassing your friends and family for responses... Who knew New Zealand has such a widespread tabloid culture. The first time ever I have to contact the police for intrusion protection. It is not a very nice feeling to be living in extreme fear, but it is an eye opening experience.
I have been hated throughout the year – from extreme right wing racist comments to personal attacks. While I cannot understand why people would go through the trouble of hunting me down to send me essays about how vile I am, I appreciate their efforts. Freedom of speech, a privileged we have in the Western World that most people envy; the democratic right that many people around the world are still dying and fighting for.
Talking about democratic right, of course, was my experience running for local politics. It was not an easy process. I have only made up my mind months before the election that I will run for local politics, an idea that I have been contemplating for a while but resisted. I am upset with the outcome; not my election result, but the engagement with the ethnic communities. We hear from the community again and again about how they wanted a stronger voice in the democratic process and yet they will put you down during the election. You hear comments like “I have never heard of them!”, “They are like all politicians and are greedy!”, “I won’t vote for them because they are (Chinese)!” It is disheartening, upsetting, and degrading.
Election is a very tiring experience! Slept 4 hours every day, juggling work, volunteering contributions, campaigning, door knocking, managing the team’s communication… I ate like a horse every day, but I had more exercise than I have ever had in my life! I did not gain much weight though, given the vigorous walking and chaos I have then created. The unexpected weight loss was an unanticipated positive outcome.
2013 is a year of personal gain and loss. My childhood friends whom have known each another for their whole life has got married and my maternal grandmother have left us to a better world. No matter who you are, everyone will experience life and death.
As my clairvoyant said, I have moved too far too fast. The past is the history and do not look back and the real monster is in my head!! Move away from those who are there to hurt you, move away from hurting those whom you love. I am not religious, but I believe in love, forgive and forget. Love those stuck by you through thick and thin; forgive those who betrayed you when you needed them; and forget those who hate you.
Bring on 2014, the Year of Princess of Chaos, Bevan Chuang!
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