It’s important to sit. To waste time. To give your thoughts breathing room.
To having “wasting time” be a goal.
To feel the weight of it all. To feel sadness and aches, for no reason....when everything is perfect. And then, to be jolted like a slingshot into joy when it flashes across you. Wildly, unexpectedly...the surprise guest, the kind you wear your party dress for...hoping they’ll come again soon.
Bask. Mope. Drag your feet, deliberately.
Nimbly tracing, with the tips of your fingers, all the way to the end of the rope, where the fraying first began- inch, by inch. Don’t skip a moment.
Pace. Play it on repeat. Pay attention to the detours and not just the destination.
Feel sorry for yourself, silently. Ride it out.
Demand tears to come, not “if necessary,” but always necessary. Insist on hammering it out.
Lay on the floor, for an indefinite amount of time. In every room of the house. Sit in the shower....draw smiley faces on door and watch them drip.
Drift off. To sleep. To that room in your brain that you haven’t explored yet. To nostalgia, where you've convinced yourself "things were better."
Watch yourself cry in the mirror. Notice a new way in which your face moves and wonder how many people know that specific way in which it moves and think of it any time they hear your name. Associate yourself with that face....tell yourself a sad story. Imagine conversations, that haven't happened.
Stare into your coffee cup. Let your eyes tell a story, so you don't have to keep repeating it....your brain already does enough of that.
Do less for awhile.
Regret the Tipping Point. You know there would be one....eventually... you just rolled the dice.
There's never enough time, is there?
Drink too much. Have a marathon day. Do less for awhile, so you feel less guilty about DOING IT ALL.
Admit you need tending. Forgive yourself, for knowing all along.
Wake up. Put your hands, over your heart...... and remember, It's all going to be okay. Every single thing.
(yes, I know, *Starring, not staring)
ADDITIONAL CAMERA SUPPORT: RYAN RODGERS