The final installment of Bordello Diaries, the hilarious look behind-the-scenes at a catty urban whorehouse!
If you want to understand all the jokes, you'll need to start here with Part 1: vimeo.com/28549961
- You don't pay a prostitute for sex - you pay her to leave!
- The laughs are free - the sex isn't...
- Uncut, unhinged and unrated...
- The dirtiest comedy of the year.
- For people who long for that sinful and seemingly lost cinema-going-experience: the midnight-sex-comedy.
The entire film was shot in a period of less than 5 days (4 days and 16 hours, to be exact)! Production commenced on a Wednesday morning and wrapped that Sunday night (and required no reshoots, ADR, looping, etc...). Most of the lead actors completed their parts in only 3 or 4 days - and almost all of the other actors (including 'Phil', the brothel owner) filmed their entire parts in 3 hours or less.
The production was shot during the famous extra-tropical winter cyclone that hit Vancouver the week before Christmas of 2006, destroying much property and toppling thousands of trees in the area - wrapping mere hours before the worst of the (near biblical) deluge. In one scene you can see the wind outside blowing around the local vegetation. Despite the poor weather, all of the production's exterior scenes occurred, rather fortuitously, during breaks in the storm.
The movie's crew play themselves throughout the film - from director Robert D. Brooks playing the interviewer/director to Crazy Mike, the film's production assistant playing the Mime. Two of the film's associate producers (Shawn Cooke and Ryan Horley) play cops. Key PA Jesse Lalime plays the Prison Guard.
In yet another sign of the changing times the digital revolution has brought upon us, Robert D. Brooks completed all the film's post-production himself - from the colour correction all the way through to the audio mix - in his spare time and on his home PC (using software costing less than a thousand dollars) - and in HDTV and 5.1 stereo, no less! The entire production was digital (HDTV 720p) and never touched tape or film (the master footage was all contained on two 320 gig portable hard drives). In order to edit the film, he needed to install more than 1 terabyte of hard-drives into his computer and purchase another terabyte of external drives to hold everything.
The actress who plays Roxy in the film is, in actuality, an exotic dancer. World-famous porn-star Nina Hartley (Boogie Nights) was originally intended for the role, but was unable to come to Canada to shoot her scenes at the scheduled time.
The 'Chair' was by far the most expensive prop in the film, costing about seven hundred dollars and found after an exhaustive search of furniture stores and antiques shops. The crew hated having to destroy such a beautiful piece of furniture in order to insert the dildoes. The director wanted a chair that more closely resembled an electric chair, but was able to find one for sale or rent (and he refused to pay the several thousands of dollars that the prop fabricators wanted to create one: 'I did the research, almost every actual, real, working electric-chair in the United States was built for like $50 using scrap wood found around the prison, usually by the janitor or caretaker, and usually in a day or less - so there was no way in hell I was going to pay someone 10% of the budget of our entire film, just to build one for us - heck, we didn't even need it to be electric!'). As it was, the chair still cost well over 1% of the entire film's budget!
I made this class 169 after Jada Fire(d) caused me to 86 porn (@ 16 min) on 10-6-11, (I forgave her @ vimeo.com/143212422). The 86 only lasted to 3-17-12 when I got porn back in L94 (see Jada) @ vimeo.com/39845641 but this was a special I LOVED YOU GOODBYE to the porn business and still is a good warning because when porn gets too evil then sex gets too boring to watch.
This from class 168 helped me to make this 169:
I found a divine sign in piss porn that I labeled as “piss in boots” because it confirmed that women had been branded as “dumb broads”. The "forces of evil" tried to contradict this divine sign with the new movie PUSS IN BOOTS. Then porn got 86ed again after I got flipped off one too many times [@ 16 min] which reminded me of a song that warned "when you got a tender love you don't take care of then you better beware of THE HAPPENING", [by The Supremes @ 19 min]. Except when I looked up the lyrics I saw they had already made a movie called THE HAPPENING, (to contradict the lyrics to that song), starring Mark Wahlberg. The point is they will spend a fortune to defend their lies and to mock the truth away. Wahlberg also starred in Boogie Nights about the porn business, [maybe the worst movie I’ve ever seen and I explain why @ 22 to 28 min]. William H. Macy committed homicide and suicide in Boogie Nights but he was MUCH BETTER in SEABISCUIT which is hopefully a sign that there will be a MUCH BETTER movie made about porn.
I was hoping that God would bless us with a visit from heaven in this 169 if I honored America’s heroes for the first 15 minutes and that’s exactly what happened. One reason that is so important to God is because it’s impossible to comprehend all that God has done for us but a very good parallel is to pay proper respect to the sacrifices of American heroes or any heroes of faith like Gandhi or Bible heroes. This 169 was the start of the AWESOME military magic in classes 161, 99, L109, L112 & L123 at viddler.com/playlists/728602594221e1ee/edit and all because I loved porn so much that I wanted to give them a special “goodbye” so I dreamed up a new angle to beg God to bless us with a visit in this 169. See how impressed God was with me @ 8 min in L5b vimeo.com/35772901.
Watching porn had been 86ed for 3.5 years but I got it back on 7-6-11 right after I made this 185. That long absence made me like a kid in a (eye) candy store when I got back so I got over 10,000 FREE pornos in 4 years mainly because it was such an awesome improvement in the quality and quantity of sex and the ease of downloading FREE porn verses the old days of buying porn on VCR tapes and DVDs. An example of how bad that used to be is I had a saying: if you're not getting ripped off then you're not buying porn.
I was so impressed with this before-and-after porn that I told about the difference in the rated X class 199, it's with #206 that shows I was a perfect match for the porn business and with the rated X #169 @ xvideos.com/favorite/10748265/my_best_x_classes. It also has class L127F where God was so clever to let me suffer the bad treatment in porn from 2004 to 2014 until I finally found out this breakthrough in better porn was from heaven on the 1’s (my) behalf because I was so humble about it @ 1 to 9 min. For porn to flip me off and mock me as YOU'RE SO VAIN and not pay me to steal the credits for this awesome improvement made them worse than my ex-wife (below). Another big improvement in porn was Porn Music Videos (PMVs), see my playlist of “Good PMVs” at pornhub.com/playlist/38560612.
I had 1,000 pornos when I made this 169 so it wasn't a big a sacrifice for me to stop downloading new porn but the point is I hold porn to a stricter standard than the rest of the mass media, (see below). I expect better treatment from porn especially after how much I’ve defended them like in this 169 @ 29 min and in #103 vimeo.com/37604796 @ 1 to 12 min. I also have a saying “you can't argue with the devil you can only accommodate her” and porn lived down to that evil level again in what I wrote at vimeo.com/43056588.
The media is as evil as THE FBI in class 99 @ 1 to 4 min vimeo.com/36995187 and in L127c vimeo.com/107209155 @ 3 to 15 min. I've been boycotting the media since January 2007 and there is a song that asks “how do you think he does it?” it by THE WHO called “that deaf dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean Pinball”, (it's with a PG13 girl @ 2 min at vimeo.com/130240284).
I explain why my classes are over at vimeo.com/50116128 AND HERE in 169 at
32 min because the PORN business is like my ex: you're TOO EVIL and stupid to be my partner.
It's like the song LAUGH, LAUGH: you thought you were TOO GOOD you had a lot of nerve.
(It's strong medicine to tone down their arrogance.)
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I had a dream I was a goat, grazing on a sunny mountainside in Southern Italy. Afternoons were spent breathing the fresh air and eating the healthy green grass. Then at the start of my ten month long lactation period, the farmer’s big-breasted wife would put me on a pedestal and massage me and milk me until I was dry. It’s a goat’s life…a goat’s life for me.