“The anger you are unaware of can do the most damage to your HEALTH, and your RELATIONSHIPS with others”
1- First we ACKNOWLEDGE, our hidden anger
2- Second we fully ACCEPT our subconscious anger
3- Third we gently RELEASE all of our unconscious anger
Many of us have been taught not to express angry feelings. In our childhood, expressing anger may have been too dangerous; perhaps it was not tolerated, or it was ignored, dismissed – even ridiculed. Also we may have felt that we have to be a ‘NICE’ person or we will be rejected. Therefore, even as adults, we may have difficulty expressing anger, even when the appropriate expression of displeasure or anger is acceptable in current relationships.
After years of stuffing or stifling our anger, we may not even acknowledge to ourselves that we are angry. However, being unaware of anger does not mean that you aren’t angry.
The anger you are unaware of can do the most damage to your health, sense of well-being, and relationships with others. If your anger is not released wisely, it will probably be expressed in indirect or inappropriate ways.
Checklist for Unconscious Anger:
High blood pressure
Chronic muscle tension
Tired more easily than usual
Knot in your stomach; stomach ulcers
Waking up tired, rather than refreshed
Clenched jaws especially while sleeping
Grinding teeth especially while sleeping
Unintentional, habitual foot tapping, facial tics
Chronically stiff or sore neck or shoulder muscles
Difficulty getting to sleep or sleeping through the night
Frequent disturbing dreams
Boredom, apathy, loss of interest
Over-controlled or monotone voice
Procrastination in regard to imposed tasks
Sarcasm, cynicism, or flippancy in conversation
Over-politeness, constant cheerfulness, “stiff upper lip”
Increased irritability or intense anger over small things
Chronic depression; feeling down for no particular reason
Drowsy at inappropriate moments; sleeping much more than normal
Addictions, self-destructive behavior, significant weight gain, compulsive or binge-eating
If you have checked one or more of the above danger signals, you may have bottled up anger. Therapy with an experienced, trained professional can help you acquire new permissions to ACKNOWLEDGE, ACCEPT and RELEASE your anger in life-enhancing ways.