1. "For me, this is like an emotional time capsule. It takes me right back to a time when my feelings and emotions were being spearheaded across thresholds into the yet unventured territories; of realms where I had yet to construct any type of coping mechanisms.

    Unbeknowns to me, with my paper and my pen, back then I was creating ventilation in an otherwise suffocating existence.

    Metaphorically speaking I was 'bloodletting' with ink whilst allowing myself time to think.

    Inadvertently, I had begun keeping my own counsel through my writing and yet, to me, at the time I just thought of it as a hobby - just another creative expression of myself instead of watching the Telly.

    Working with Toby to make the film became a journey of a different kind; another voyage of self-discovery, with some unexpected encounters with some of my former versions of myself along the way.

    Whether it's consciously or subconsciously, the whole filmmaking process for me was a very cathartic experience, and well worth it. You are able to learn a lot about yourself on many levels, and you walk away with your own mini movie. It wasn't until afterwards when the recording and editing process was complete, did I start to see just how far I had come within myself, and where and how I saw myself in my own life.

    It took for me to watch the film at least three or four times before it really sunk in as to how chastised I had been made to feel by the wrongs of another, and yet I had continued to carry this burden with me.

    This film will always remain a very important film to me, because it is one of the earlier ones, and because it features one of my most personal poems. It makes transparent some of the vulnerabilities that even I couldn't see back then, as well as being an interesting piece of art.

    I wrote the poem some fifteen, sixteen years ago, but still I can remember writing it like it were yesterday. The film brings with it a modern visibility to just how far I have come. A glance at where I have been, and how with vision, creativity and support, I can move forward."

    - Jade Rivers

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Jade Rivers

FLACK Film Unit

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