Everyday NLP: understanding what makes us 'tick' - practical psychology with everyday examples

  1. As human beings, we take in massive amounts of information from the outside world through our 5 senses. Most of this sensory information is processed outside our conscious attention. We can only pay attention to a small part of this information consciously, and what we think is going on is a bit like a torch beam in a darkened room. What you shine your torch beam on becomes your version of reality, but other people are very likely to be shining their torch beam on different aspects.

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  2. We are as different on the inside as we look different on the outside. The problem is, we cant see the difference on the inside, in the same way as we see the difference on the outside, so many of us assume that everyone thinks roughly like me, and if they don't ....... they should! Because its common sense that this is how it is.

    The problem is, common sense is only common to people who share that view, and all of us do what we do because at some level it makes sense for us to behave in that way. The key to working and relating well with other people is to be curious about them and their world. Recognising how different preferred senses affect how people filter in the outside world, how they process, what they value, and how they communicate, can significantly enhance how we get on together.

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  3. Our behaviour isn't governed by the what happens in the outside world. It is generated by what we filter in, and by how we process what we filter in, through internal pictures, sounds, and self talk (our internal thinking). This affects our feelings and physiology, which in turn affects our thinking. Our behaviour is generated by the interplay of internal thinking and internal feeling.

    This extract describes this process in more detail, and illustrates how badly it can affect us with a tale of the impact of unhelpful thinking during an interview :-)

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  4. Part of the way we process language is by creating 'pictures' (representations) on the inside. This happens largely out of our conscious awareness.
    If you are making a request notice how different words create different effects ....
    "If you ......" (I might, or might not)
    "Will you ...." (Yes or no)
    "Can you ...." (I could, but why don't you!)
    "When you ...." (the person has to have a representation of doing it).

    Paired with 'then', the when word can be very effective in shaping behaviour. This can be especially useful with children, for example "When you have put your pyjamas on, then we'll have a story"

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  5. When we have a problem, sometimes we can perceive it as being much bigger than it is. Our torchbeam can focus on nothing but the problem, at the expense of everything else.

    This extract introduces the NLP approach to successful change. At its simplest, it involves getting clear about:-
    * the present or problem state, including when it doesn't happen
    * the preferred or desired state (or outcome), including the part you play in achieving it
    * the resources you need to move from present to desired state.

    Used personally, this framework can help you dwell much less on problems, and get clearer about outcomes, especially when use in conjunction with the POSSEE outcome setting framework. Used conversationally with others, (and with rapport) it can be a real gift to help them move their torchbeam and keep problems in perspective.

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Everyday NLP: understanding what makes us 'tick' - practical psychology with everyday examples

Chris Grimsley PRO

Developing our own inner psychologist.

"I’d just like to let you know that NLP has quite honestly transformed my life!! I can only liken it to the key that unlocked a completely new way of thinking." (K. L.)

Our Psychology affects everything we…


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Developing our own inner psychologist.

"I’d just like to let you know that NLP has quite honestly transformed my life!! I can only liken it to the key that unlocked a completely new way of thinking." (K. L.)

Our Psychology affects everything we do. As human beings we are gifted with a phenomenal bio chemical computer at birth. Unfortunately the operator’s manual isn’t provided. We learn what we can about how to think, communicate, manage our feelings, and behave partly through the conscious efforts of parents, family and teachers. More importantly we also learn, out of conscious awareness, by copying thinking patterns and emotional and behavioural responses of significant people in our lives. Some of us are fortunate to have positive role models, and copy patterns that help us thrive and enjoy life. For others, it's a mix of good and bad, and for others patterns that are limiting.

Chris Grimsley has been fascinated by people, what makes us 'tick', communicate, and get on with people (or not), for many years. In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) he found answers to some of the questions he had about his own and other people's psychology. Chris has spent the last 18 years sharing NLP through live training courses with NLP in the Northwest (nlpinthenorthwest.co.uk) in the north of England. In order to share the content more widely, the course has been videoed, so that people who aren't in a position to attend training, can learn about something about NLP and its benefits. This Everyday NLP channel includes extracts of some of the basics from the NLP Foundation Diploma course. The full course (13+ hours) is available to download (rent or buy) through Vimeo on Demand, or as a 4 DVD set from the website.
When you have watched some of the content, please like it, and share it, so that more of us can learn about how we tick, and develop our own inner psychologist.

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