I said I was dehydrated, so they treated it like a heart attack and wouldn't let me eat or drink midnight until 1 p.m. then I tossed a fit and said my name is on the wall for people who built this ER, I know the head of cardiology personally, I was at his wedding to Robin, and if I don't get some food RIGHT NOW someone is getting a call.
Rochelle took me down to the cafeteria and said, "we don't normally do this," as she pointed out the people looking - but I hadn't noticed. I never notice people looking at me as I am usually s sight in one way or another so I am used to it.
David Baker Fast growing mole on the left side of my scalp mid-way between my left eye and left ear. Got it crew-cutted down and wanted it check. Also, I switched to being a vegetarian as soon as Mrs. Bacon left the house - I was 95% of the way there anyway and tossed all meat from my life for six weeks and almost immediately my colon started to have what we called in college "flaming asshole" but the causes and cures well known: less beer, tequila, and hot salsa the night before and the cure was a tube of that topical-numbing-agent-in-prescription-only-white-zink-ointment hospitals use on screaming kids, and adults, with the sort of pain I had intermittently 3 weeks ago to every waking moment now from someone who had a mom or dad who was a pediatrician. I got my last five tubes from Balog's wife Dr. Kim Balog as I didn't give up the beer until 2008. Now it is a mystery and it kills and I tossed the last of my tubes.
Of course, I said none of that. I told Cindy at the ER window that I felt like someone had inserted a six inch round wire hair brush in past the sphincter and was gently turning it back and for a quarter inch every minute and that it had started to bleed slightly.
She was unimpressed by either of these things.
Like · Reply · Just now · Edited
David Baker Also I said I think I was dehydrated earlier but that also feels like a heart attack and could they draw blood for the enzyme that shows for a heart attack. I waited at home until I was 5 hours out as it was 45 minute ride to the hospital but it took me 1:47 so I was now almost 7 hours out and six hour peaking was past and I wanted a reading pronto.
After hearing nothing but heart attack, that led down a nightmarish path, literally on video here vimeo.com/161456782
, and figuratively other ways from two chest x-rays to two CT scans to 4 children's aspirin when I TOLD THEM OVER AND OVER, my blood was half-aspirin, I'd been taking 4x325mgs every 2 to 8 hours for a week and had them on me at the time and trying to keep me over-night (breaking my perfect record of never an over night in a hospital in 51 years nor a broken bone!).
Turns out I was dehydrated.
I have a perfect heart stronger than they have ever seen in a man my age, albeit somewhat shattered - you know, love-wise. And no one looked at my mole nor colon. Sheesh.